_______________________________________

Aristophanes
Peace

_______________________________________

 

This translation by Ian Johnston of Vancouver Island University, Nanaimo, BC, Canada, published in 2010, has certain copyright restrictions. For information please use the following link: Copyright. For comments or question please contact Ian Johnston.

The translator would like to acknowledge the valuable help of Alan H. Sommerstein’s commentary on the play in his book Peace (Aris & Phillips, 1985)

Note that in the following translation, the line numbers without brackets refer to the English text and those within square brackets refer to the Greek text. In the former, a partial indented line is normally combined in the reckoning with the short line immediately before it. 

Background Note

At the time Peace was produced in Athens, the city had been at war with Sparta for a number of years.  However, peace negotiations had been going on, and it looked as if the two sides might just agree to end (or at least suspend) their hostilities.

Dramatis PERSONAE

FIRST SERVANT: a slave belonging to Trygaeus
SECOND SERVANT: a slave belonging to Trygaeus
DAUGHTERS: two daughters of Trygaeus
TRYGAEUS: a middle-aged farmer
HERMES: a god, divine son of Zeus
WAR: a god
UPROAR: a young servant to War.
CHORUS: farmers and servants from different city states
HIEROCLES: a seller of oracles
SICKLE MAKER
JAR MAKER
ARMS DEALER
ARMOURER
TRUMPET MAKER

SPEAR MAKER
BOY, a son of Lamachus
BOY, a son of Cleonymus
PEACE
THEORIA: a young female attendant on Peace
OPORA: a young female attendant on Peace

[Across the back of the flat open front of the stage, the Orchestra, are four structures: the farm house belonging to Trygaeus, a stable beside or in front of it, a cave whose opening is blocked in with rocks, and the palace of Zeus. Two of Trygaeus’ slaves are in front of the stable. One is on his knees before a shallow tub preparing balls of dung taken from a pile in the yard, and the other is carrying these balls of dung into the stable]

FIRST SERVANT [coming from the stable door]
     Come on, bring us a cake for the beetle.
     Get a move on! Hurry up.

SECOND SERVANT [on his knees kneading dung into cakes]
                                                                          
 There you go.
     Give him that. May it kill the wretched beast!
     I hope he never swallows anything
     more delicious than that ball of shit.

[First servant takes the cake, goes into the stable, and returns]

FIRST SERVANT
      Give him another one. And make this cake
      out of pounded donkey dung.

SECOND SERVANT
                                                       Back again?
      Where’s the one you took in there just now?
      He can’t have eaten it.

FIRST SERVANT
                                                    Eaten it? By Zeus,
      he grabbed it, rolled in round between his feet,
                                                         10
      and then swallowed it
—the whole damn thing.
      Hurry up and pound out more, lots of them—
      and pack them tight.

[First Servant carries another cake into the stable and returns]

SECOND SERVANT [looking at the audience]
                                  You dung collectors out there, 
      in the name of the gods, give me a hand,
     
 unless you want to see me choke.                                                                                                              [10]

FIRST SERVANT
                                     Hand me another cake—
      from a boy prostitute. He says he needs
      something made from shit that’s been well pounded.

SECOND SERVANT [tossing him a cake]
      There you go.  

[First Servant returns to the stable. The Second Servant addresses the audience]

                                  Gentlemen, there’s one thing
      I think I’ll never be found guilty of.
      No one will claim that as I pound this muck                                       
20
      I
help myself and eat the stuff.*

FIRST SERVANT [holding his nose]
                                                              Good god!
      Get me another, and then bring one more,
      and then another. Keep packing more.

SECOND SERVANT
      No, by Apollo, not me! I can’t stand
      this disgusting muck a moment longer!

FIRST SERVANT
      Then I’ll take the dung inside, tub and all.

[The First Servant picks up the tub full of dung and carries it into the stable]

SECOND SERVANT
      To hell with it, by god, and you as well.

[addressing the audience]

      If any of you knows, please tell me now                                                                                            [20]
      where I can get a nose without a nostril.
      There’s no work that is more miserable                                              
30
      than rolling this stuff up and serving it
      to feed a beetle. Now, a pig or dog,
      as soon as someone’s had a shit, eats it
      without a fuss. But this conceited brute,
      like some lady, is so full of itself, 
      it won’t eat unless I mash the stuff all day 
      then serve it rolled into a ball by hand.
      But I’ll take a look, see if it’s done eating.
      I’ll open this door, but just a sliver,
                                                                                                         [30]
      so it won’t see me.

[He pushes the stable door slightly and looks inside]

                                     Go on—keep eating,                                                                            40
      and don’t ever stop, not until you burst
      all by yourself in there. That damned creature—
      look how it eats, mashing with its molars, 
      moving its head and arms around like that,
      like a wrestler or those who twist the cords
      to make thick ropes for cargo ships.  

FIRST SERVANT [returning from the stable]
                                                            That brute—
      smelly, foul and greedy! I’ve no idea
      what god this stinking apparition comes from,
      but I reckon it wasn’t Aphrodite 
                                                                                                               [40]
      or the Graces.
*

SECOND SERVANT
                                 Then who was it?                      

FIRST SERVANT
                                                             It’s got to be                                  
50
      some monstrosity sent down here from Zeus, 
      lord of the thundercrap.

SECOND SERVANT
                                                   Well, some youngster
      out there in the audience who thinks he’s smart
      by this point will be saying, “What’s going on?
      What does this beetle mean?” And an Ionian 
      sitting next to him is saying, “In my view,
      it’s a reference to Cleon, showing how
      he’s not ashamed to wolf down shit all day.”
*

FIRST SERVANT [getting ready to urinate]
     I’m going in to give the beast a drink.

[First Servant goes back into the stable]

SECOND SERVANT
      Well then, I’ll explain what’s going on here                                        
60             [50]
      for children, youngsters, grown ups, and old men,
      even for these self-important windbags.
*
      My master’s got some new form of madness—
      not your kind, but something really new.
      All day long he gazes at the heavens
      with his mouth open, like this, and cries out,
      yelling up at god, “O Zeus,” he says,
      “What on earth are you doing? What’s your plan?
      Put that broom aside. Don’t sweep Greece away!”
      Wait! Hold on! Quiet. I think I hear his voice.
                                                             70

TRYGAEUS [from inside the house]
     
 O Zeus, what will you do for our people?
      You’ll be devastating all our cities
      without any sense of what you’re doing.

SECOND SERVANT
      That’s it, the sickness I’ve been talking of.
      There you hear a sample of his madness.
      When this disturbance first came over him,
      he’d keep saying to himself, “How can I  
      gain access to Zeus right now?” So he had
      some slender ladders made for him, and then,
      he’d try to climb them all the way to heaven,                                                                80             [70]
      until he’d tumble down and break his head.

      Well then, damn him, he went out yesterday,
      I don’t know where, and brought back a beetle,
      a monstrous thing from Etna. He’s forced me
      to be its groom, while he keeps stroking it,
      as if it were a pony, and saying
      “O my little Pegasus, my thoroughbred,
      my flying steed, now you must carry me
      directly up to Zeus.” I’ll have a look,
      bend down here and see just what he’s doing.
                                                             90

[The Second Servant stoops to look through a hole in the walls of the stable]

      O this is dreadful! Come here, neighbours! Here!
      My master’s rising up into the air,
                                                                                                            [80]
      riding astride the beetle like a horse!

[Trygaeus appears on the giant dung beetle rising up into the air behind the stable]

TRYGAEUS
     
 Easy now, beetle, gently does it, easy.
      Don’t charge and make things much too rough for me, 
      trusting your strength, right at the start of things,
      not until you sweat, and your beating wings
      loosen up your joints and make your muscles free.
      I beg you, don’t breathe on me that filthy smell.
      If you do that, you can stay here in your cell.
                                                               100

SECOND SERVANT [calling up to Trygaeus]
     Master, my lord, how crazy you’ve become!
                                                                                    [90]

TRYGAEUS [here and in following speeches declaiming in the grand style]
      Be silent! Hold your tongue!

SECOND SERVANT
                                                      Why are you
      flapping through the air so senselessly?

TRYGAEUS
      I’m soaring off to help out all the Greeks,
      a bold new venture, never done before.

SECOND SERVANT
      Why are you flying? Why this mad sickness?

TRYGAEUS
      You must speak fair words and never mutter
      such trivial sounds. Instead cry out with joy.
      Tell men to hold their tongues and to close in
      their toilets and their sewers with fresh bricks                                    
110            [100]
      and to plug their arse holes firmly shut.

SECOND SERVANT
      There’s no way I’ll stay quiet, not unless
      you tell me where you plan to fly.

TRYGAEUS
                                                        Where else, 
      but up to Zeus in heaven?

SECOND SERVANT
                                                   What for?

TRYGAEUS
      To ask him about each and every Greek

      what he’s got in store for them.

SECOND SERVANT
                                                     And what if
      he doesn’t tell you?

TRYGAEUS
                                              I’ll take him to court
      for treason, selling Greeks out to the Medes.
*

SECOND SERVANT
      No, by Dionysus, you’ll never go,
      not while I’m alive.

TRYGAEUS
                                 There’s no other way.
                                                                               120

SECOND SERVANT [shouting into the house]
     Help! Help! Help! Children, your father’s leaving—
                                                                 [110]
     he’s secretly abandoning you all
     to go to heaven.  

[Trygaeus’ two young daughters come out of the house]

                                 You poor wretched girls,
     try pleading with your father. Beg him.

CHILD
      Father, oh father, is this report true,
      what those at home are saying about you—
      you’re leaving me here, going up to the sky,
      to the birds and the ravens? You’re trying to fly?
*
      O daddy, these stories—are they all quite true?
      If you love me, I need an answer from you.
                                                                   130

TRYGAEUS
     Yes, my girls, it’s what you think. The truth is
      I’ve had with you—you keep begging me
      for bread and calling me your daddikins,
                                                                                         [120]
      when there’s not a drop of money in the house,
      nothing at all. But when I’m successful,
      when I get back again, you’ll soon enjoy
      a huge cake with my knuckles for a sauce.
*

DAUGHTER
      But how are you going to finish the trip?
      You can’t travel that road in a sailing ship.

TRYGAEUS
      A young horse with wings will be carrying me.      
                                               140
      I won’t journey there in a ship on the sea. 

DAUGHTER
      Daddy, how did you plan to capture this thing,
      harness it, and go to the gods on the wing?

TRYGAEUS
      In those stories by Aesop, I found out
      the beetle was the only beast with wings
                                                                                           [130]
      that could reach the place where gods reside.

DAUGHTER
      Father, father, that’s false. All folks deny
      stories which say that stinking brutes fly
      and can come to the gods way on high.

TRYGAEUS
                                                Once, long ago,
      when it had a quarrel with an eagle,
                                                                                      150
      it went up there and took out its revenge
      by rolling from the nest the eagle’s eggs.

DAUGHTER
      You should have hitched Pegasus and his wings.
      Then the gods would see you as those tragic kings.

TRYGAEUS
      My dear girl, I’d have needed twice the food.
      But now whatever meal I eat myself
      will serve to feed this beetle, too.

DAUGHTER
      But what if it falls in the depths out at sea?
                                                                                     [140]
      With wings like those ones, how will it flee?

TRYGAEUS [lifting up his phallus or exposing his penis]
     
 For that I’ve got this rudder I can use.                                                                                     160
      And the beetle will be just like those boats
      they make in Naxos.
*

DAUGHTER
                                                  But then as you float,
      what harbour will open up for that boat?

TRYGAEUS
      Doesn’t Piraeus have a Beetle Harbour?
*

DAUGHTER
      Beware of collisions.
 You might fall down
      from way up there and become a lame clown.
      If so, to Euripides you’d give a story,
      and he’d turn you into some tragic glory.
*

TRYGAEUS
      I’ll watch out for that. And now good bye!

[Trygaeus addresses the audience as he starts moving higher]

      And you for whom I’m doing all this work,                                                                      170
      for the next three days you mustn’t fart or crap.
      If this creature smells that while in the air,
      it’ll toss me head first and come down to graze.
      So come now, Pegasus, be off. Good luck.
      Keep those bright ears of yours pricked up
      and shake that golden bridle and your bit
      until they rattle. What are you doing?
      What are you up to? Why turn your nose
      toward those stinking sewers? Let yourself
      go bravely up above the earth, stretch out                                          
180
      those racing wings of yours and head straight for
      the halls of Zeus. Keep your nose out of the shit,
      away from all the food you eat each day.
      Hey, that man down there, what are you doing?
      I mean that one crapping in Piraeus,
      right by the whorehouse. You’re destroying me,
      doing me in. Can’t you please bury the stuff,
      pile lots of earth on top, and then plant thyme
      and pour perfume on it? If I fell down
      and something happened to me from up here                                    
190
      and killed me, the state of Chios would be fined
                                                                       [170]
      five talents, all because of your ass hole.
*
      O my god, I’m scared. And I’m not joking,
      not any more. You there working this machine,
      take good care of me. Right now there’s a wind
      twisting its way around my belly button.  
      If you don’t watch it, I’ll be making stuff
      to feed the beetle. But it seems to me
      I’m getting near the gods. Yes, I can see
      the home of Zeus.

[By this point the beetle has descended and come to rest in front of the house of Zeus.  
Trygaeus gets off the beetle and knocks on the door]
]

                             Who’s in there, in Zeus’ house?                                                              200
      Why won’t you open up?

HERMES [from inside]
      
                                     A human voice!                                                                                                 [180]
      Where did that come from?

[Hermes opens the door and sees Trygaeus and the dung beetle]

                                                                        Lord Hercules!
      What’s that disgusting thing?

TRYGAEUS
      
                                             A horse beetle.

HERMES
      You disgusting, reckless, shameless creature!
      You scoundrel, you consummate rascal,
      the worse rogue there is! How did you get here,
      you most villainous of all the villains!
      What’s your name? Speak up, won’t you?

TRYGAEUS
      Super-scoundrel.

HERMES
                            In what country were you born?
      Tell me.

TRYGAEUS
                    Super-scoundrel.

HERMES
                                              Who’s your father?
                                                                210

TRYGAEUS
      My father?
Super-scoundrel.

HERMES
                                                                  By this earth,
      you’ll die for sure if you don’t give your name.    

TRYGAEUS
      I’m Trygaeus and I’m from Athmonum,
*
      a good vine-grower. I don’t slander people,                                                                                    [190]
      and I don’t like disputes.

HERMES
                                                    Why have you come?

TRYGAEUS [handing Hermes a steak]
      To bring you this meat.

HERMES [grabbing the meat and in a very different tone]
                                                                      You poor fellow,
      how did you get here?

TRYGAEUS
                                             Well, sticky fingers,
      you see how you no longer think of me
      as the vilest of all rogues. Please be off now
      and summon Zeus for me.

HERMES
                                                         Oh dear, dear, dear!      
                               220
      You won’t reach the gods. You’re not even close.
      They’ve gone away. They moved out yesterday.

TRYGAEUS
      Where on earth they go?

HERMES
                                               They wouldn’t go to earth!

TRYGAEUS 
       Well, then, where?

HERMES
                                      Oh, a long, long way away,
      under the very dome of heaven itself.

TRYGAEUS
      So why have you been left here by yourself?
                                                                                 [200]

HERMES
      I’m keeping an eye on the furniture,
      what’s left of it—some little pots and pans,
      boards, some wine jugs.

TRYGAEUS
                                     Why have the gods all left?

HERMES
      They’re angry at the Greeks—so they moved War                              
230
      into the house where they used to live,
      giving him full power to treat you Greeks
      any way he wishes. They moved their home
      even higher up, as far as they could go,
      so they wouldn’t see you fighting any more
      or hear any of your prayers.

TRYGAEUS
                                                       Tell me this—
      why have they been treating us like that?
                                                                                         [210]

HERMES
      Because they tried to make peace many times,
      but you prefer to fight.
 If the Spartans
      had a small success, they’d say something like,
                                                           240
      “By the twin gods, those Attic types will pay.”
*
      And if, with events turning out quite well
      for those in Attica, the Spartans came
      to talk of peace, you’d answer right away,
      “By Athena, they’re playing tricks with us.
      No, by Zeus, there’s no way we’ll go along.
      They’ll come back, if we hang on to Pylos.”
*

TRYGAEUS
      Yes, that’s way folks in our country talk.
                                                                                           [220]

HERMES
       Well, that’s why I don’t think you’ll ever see
       Peace in your time again.

TRYGAEUS
                                          Where’s she gone, then?
                                                         250

HERMES
     War has thrown her into a deep hole. 

TRYGAEUS
      What hole?

HERMES [pointing to the walled up cave in the central part of the stage]
                       
 That one, way down there. What’s more,
      you see how many rocks he’s piled on top
      to stop you hauling her back out again.

TRYGAEUS
      Tell me, what’s War planning to do to us?

HERMES
      All I know is last evening he brought home
      a gigantic mortar.

TRYGAEUS
                                    He’s got a mortar?
                                                                                                  [230]
      What’s he going to do with that?

HERMES
                                        Well, he wants it
      to pulverize the city states of Greece.
      But I have to go. I think he’s coming out—                                         
260
      he’s making such a fuss in there.

[Hermes leaves. The noise inside the house gets louder]

TRYGAEUS [alarmed]
                                                               Oh, oh!
      I’m in a mess. Come on, I’d better find
      some way to get away from him. I think
      I hear the sounds of a warlike mortar.

[Trygaeus conceals himself. War enters, carrying a huge mortar and a basket of vegetables]

WAR
      Oh you human beings, you mortal men,
      you human creatures who endure so much,
      how your jaws are soon going to feel the pain!

TRYGAEUS [from his hiding place]
      By lord Apollo, look at the mortar,
      the size of it! This is a disaster—
      that look he’s got! Is this the enemy                                                    
270           [240]
      we’re running from—so terrible, so tough,
      so hard on a man’s legs?
*

WAR [taking some leeks and putting them in the mortar]
                                                                                         O Prasiae!
      thrice damned, five times damned, damned a thousandfold!
      This very day you’re going to be demolished.
*

TRYGAEUS
     This is no concern of ours, gentlemen,
     since it’s a problem for the Spartans.

WAR [putting some garlic in the mortar]
      Oh Megara, Megara, how very soon
      you be crushed to bits, turned into mincemeat.
*

TRYGAEUS
      Whoa, my goodness me, he’s throwing in
      some bitter tears for the Megarians,
                                                                                       280
      big ones, too.

WAR [grating some cheese into the mortar]
                 And Sicily, you’re destroyed, as well.
                                                                                   [250]

TRYGAEUS
      Such a great state to be grated down
      in such a miserable way.

WAR [pouring honey over the food]
                                                      All right, 
      lets pour over this some Attic honey.

TRYGAEUS
      Hey, I’d advise you use a different honey.
      That stuff costs four obols. So ease up
      with that stuff from Attica.

WAR [calling for his servant]    
                                             Boy! Boy! Uproar!

[Uproar enters from the house]

UPROAR
      Why’d you call me?

WAR
                                                  I’ll make you really yelp!
      Standing there doing nothing. Here’s a fist for you!

[War punches Uproar in the face]

UPROAR
     That hurts! Oh master, I’m in agony! 
                                                                                    290
     Your fist wasn’t full of garlic, was it?

WAR
      Why don’t you run and fetch me a pestle?

UPROAR
      We don’t have one. It was only yesterday 
                                                                                       [260]
      when we moved in here.

WAR
                                             Then go get one
      from the Athenians
—and make it fast.

UPROAR
      By god, I’ll do it. If I don’t find one,
      then I’ll be beaten ‘til I howl.

[Uproar runs off in a hurry]

TRYGAEUS
                                                         Well now,
      what are we poor wretched types to do?
      You see there’s great danger threatening us.
      If he returns and brings along a pestle,
                                                                               300
      War will sit there using it to pulverize
      all our city states. O Dionysus, 
      may he perish and not get back with it!

[Uproar comes running back empty handed]

WAR
      Here he is.

UPROAR
                        What’s going on?

WAR
                                               You didn’t bring it?

UPROAR
      The strange thing is this—those Athenians
      have lost their pestle, that tanner who ground 
                                                                           [270]
      all Greece to powder.
*

TRYGAEUS
                                                   By Athena,
      that sovereign lady, he did well to die,
      just when the city needed him to go,
      before he dumped us all into that hash.
                                                                              310

WAR
      Then go get another one in Sparta
      and be quick about it.

UPROAR
                                          I’m off master.

[Uproar moves off quickly. War shouts after him]

WAR
      And get back here on the double.

TRYGAEUS [to the audience]
                                                           
 Well, men,
      what’s going to happen to us? At this point,
      we’re in deep trouble. So if one of you,
      by chance, is an initiate of Samothrace,
      this would be a splendid time for you to pray
      the servant lad sprains both his feet.
*

UPROAR [running back on stage and striking an exaggerated pose]
                                                                     Alas!
                                                                               [280]
      O woe is me! And one more time Alas! 

WAR
      What is it? You mean this is the second time                                      
320
      you’ve come back without a pestle?  

UPROAR
                                                                  Yes.

      The Spartans have lost their pestle, too. 

WAR
      How’d that happen, you rogue?

UPROAR
                                                     Well, they lent it
      to some other folks in Thracian country,
      and it got lost.

TRYGAEUS
                                               By those two sons of Zeus,
      the Thracians did good work!  Good luck to them!
      You mortal men, keep up your courage!

WAR
      Pick up this stuff and take it back inside.
      I’m going in to make myself a pestle. 

[War leaves. Uproar collects the mortar and vegetables and follows after him. 
Trygaeus emerges from his hiding place]

TRYGAEUS
      All right, now it’s time to sing that old song                                        
330
      Datis used to sing every day at noon 
                                                                                                   [290]
      when he’d yank his cock, “Ah, how that feels good!
      O, that’s so nice! I’m getting off on this!”
*
      You men of Greece, now’s an excellent time
      to set aside our quarreling and fights
      and drag up Peace, who’s friendly to us all,
      before some other pestle interferes.
      So you farm labourers and merchants,
      you carpenters, craftsmen, immigrants,
      foreigners, and islanders, come here,  
                                                                               340
      all common folk, as quickly as you can,
      and bring some picks and ropes and levers.
      Now’s our chance to have a drink together,                                                                                    [300]
      a swig from the Good Spirit’s cup.
*

[The Chorus enters. It consists of working people from many different Greek states]

LEADER OF THE CHORUS
      Come on this way, all those of you who’re keen
      to rescue us right now. It’s now or never!
      All you Greeks, let’s help each other out
      by getting rid of all our warlike ranks
      and the nasty deep red colour of blood.
      The day that Lamachus detests is here.
*                                                                             350

[The Chorus Leader turns to address Trygaeus]

      So come on, tell us what we need to do.
      Give us some direction. It seems to me
      there’s no way I’ll be stopping work today
      until we’ve used these levers and machines
      to haul out here into the light of day
      the greatest goddess of them all, the one
      who more than any other loves the vine. 

TRYGAEUS
      You must keep quiet, just in case your joy
      in what we’re doing and these shouts of yours
      gets War, who’s in there, fired up again.
                                                                            360           [310]

CHORUS LEADER
      But we’re so pleased to hear your proclamation

      it’s not like those which tell us to come out
      with rations for three days.
*

TRYGAEUS
                                                          Be careful now
      in case Cerberus howls and yelps down there,
      the way he did when he was here on earth,
      and makes it hard for us to save the goddess.
*

CHORUS LEADER
      No one will take her back from us again,
      if we can once lay hands on her.

CHORUS
                                              Hip hip hurrah!

TRYGAEUS
      You men, if you don’t stop those cheers of yours
      you’ll be the death of me. War will charge out                                    
370
      and his two feet will stomp on everything. 

CHORUS LEADER
      Well, let him make trouble and shake things up!
                                                                      [320]
      Let him walk over everything! Today,
      we’re not going to stop our celebrations.

TRYGAEUS
      Why seek danger? Men, what’s got into you?
      You’re dancing’s going to wreck a splendid plan!

CHORUS LEADER
      But I’m not the one who likes this dancing.
      It’s my legs
—they keep hopping on their own
      from sheer delight. I’m not moving them.

TRYGAEUS
      But that’s enough now. Come on, stop dancing.
                                                        380
      Stop it!

CHORUS LEADER
                       All right.
 Look, I’ve stopped.

[The Chorus Leader keeps on capering around, his legs out of control]

TRYGAEUS
                                                                 You say so,
      but you haven’t stopped at all.

CHORUS LEADER
                                                        Well, let me
      dance one more turn and then I’m done.

TRYGAEUS
                                                                    Just one,
      and then you’ll have to stop—no more dancing.

CHORUS LEADER
      If it helps you, we won’t dance any more.
                                                                                        [330]

TRYGAEUS
      But look, you still haven’t stopped!

CHORUS LEADER
                                                      Yes, by Zeus,
      I kick out my right leg like this—that’s it!

TRYGAEUS
      All right, I’ll let you get away with that,
      if you don’t keep on trying to piss me off.

CHORUS LEADER
      Well, I must have my left leg dance as well.
                                                                   390
      I’m rid of my shield—that makes me so glad,
      I fart and laugh, more than if I’d shed old age.

TRYGAEUS
      Don’t rejoice right now. You don’t know for sure,
      at least not yet. But when we’ve got the goddess,
      then you can shout and laugh and celebrate.
      At that point you can sail or stay at home 
                                                                                      [340]
      or fuck or sleep, watch holy festivals,
      play cottabos, or live like Sybarites,
      and keep on yelling out “Hurray! Hurray!”
*

CHORUS LEADER
      How I wish to see that day at last!
                                                                                             400
      I’ve endured a lot, even mattresses
      allotted by the gods to Phormio.
*
      You’ll no longer find me as a juryman
      bitter and bad tempered, nor, I think,
                                                                                                 [350]
      harsh in my ways, as I was earlier.
      Instead you’ll see a soft, much younger man,
      once I’m free from troubles. For long enough
      we’ve killed each other, wearing ourselves out
      on journeys to the Lycaeum and back
      with sword and shield.
* But what can we do                                        410
      to bring you most delight? Come on, speak up.
      It’s happy circumstance that’s chosen you 
                                                                                       [360]
      as our supreme commander.

TRYGAEUS
                                                        Well, come on.
      Let me see how we get these stones removed.

[Enter Hermes]

HERMES
      You reckless rogue, what are you going to do?

TRYGAEUS
      Nothing bad—we’re just like Cillicon.
*

HERMES
     You evil wretch, you’re done for.

TRYGAEUS
                                                                               Yes, I am,
      if that’s how my lot turns out—Hermes would know
      how to do things with a lottery.
*

HERMES
                                                                 You’re doomed!
      You’re dead!

TRYGAEUS
                           On what day?

HERMES
                                                     Immediately.
                                                                    420

TRYGAEUS
      But I’ve not purchased any flour or cheese
      for my forced march to death.
*

HERMES
                                                 No doubt about it,
      you’re already mincemeat.

TRYGAEUS
                                              Then why is it
      receiving such a major benefit 
                                                                                                                    [370]
      has escaped my notice?

HERMES
                                          Are you not aware
      Zeus has issued a decree that anyone
      who’s caught digging that goddess up must die?

TRYGAEUS
     You mean it’s absolutely necessary
      I must perish on the spot?

HERMES
                                     Yes. Now you know.

TRYGAEUS
      Well then, lend me three drachmas right away,
                                                         430
      so I can buy a sucking pig. Before I die,
      I have to get myself initiated.
*

HERMES
      By Zeus, lord of thunder and lightning . . . 

TRYGAEUS [interrupting]
      Master, I’m imploring you—by the gods—
      don’t report us!

HERMES
                              I cannot keep silent.

TRYGAEUS
      In the name of those meats I brought for you
      from the goodness of my heart. 

HERMES
                                                     My dear chap,
                                                                                 [380]
      I’ll be destroyed by Zeus if I don’t shout
      and make a real commotion over this.

TRYGAEUS
      No, don’t shout. O my dear little Hermes, 
                                                                     440
      I’m begging you!  

[Trygaeus turns to address the Chorus]

                                                             You men, tell me
      what you’re doing? You’re standing there like statues.
      You fools, don’t hang around saying nothing,
      if you do that, he’ll start to yell.

CHORUS [chanting]
      Lord Hermes, please don’t yell or squeal.

      If you recall a tasty meal
      of young pig as a gift from me,
      don’t make my words a trivial plea.

TRYGAEUS [joining the chant]
      O lord and master, can’t you hear
      how they are trying to bend your ear? 
                                                                                450

CHORUS [chanting]
      Do not reject the prayers we say 
                                                                                                              [390]
      and let us dig up Peace today.
      Of all the gods you love men best
      and give them gifts, so bless our quest,
      if you dislike Pisander’s plume,
      his spiteful pride, we will resume
      our constant offerings to you,
      my lord, with great processions, too.
*

TRYGAEUS
      Come, I beg you, have pity for their cries. 
                                                                                      [400]
      They’re honouring you more than they used to do.
                                                460

HERMES
      They’re greater robbers than they used to be.
*

TRYGAEUS
      What’s more, I’ll tell you of a terrible act,
      a major plot against the gods, all of them.

HERMES
      All right, tell me. You might win me over.

TRYGAEUS
      For some time the Moon and that rascal Sun
      have been hatching many plots against you,
      to hand Greece over to barbarians.

HERMES
      Why would they do that?

TRYGAEUS
                                            Because, by Zeus,
      we sacrifice to you—barbarians  
                                                                                                               [410]
      make their offerings to them. That’s why,
                                                                        470
      as one might expect, they want all of us
      to be totally destroyed, so they alone
      will have the rituals all to themselves.

HERMES
      So that’s why those two for some time now
      have been stealing daylight on the sly
      and taking bites out of each other’s disk,
      those scoundrels!
*

TRYGAEUS
                                  That’s right. So, dear Hermes,
      put your heart into helping us find Peace,
      and pull her out with us. We’ll celebrate
      the great Panathenaea in your honour,
                                                                              480
      and festivals to all the other gods—
      the Mysteries, Dipolia and Adonia 
                                                                                                         [420]
      will honour Hermes.
* The other cities,
      once free of misery, will sacrifice
      to Hermes as their guardian everywhere.
      You’ll get fine things, a huge variety.
      To start things off, I’ll give you this gift,
      a bowl for you to pour libations with.

[Trygaeus pulls a golden bowl from his pocket and gives it to Hermes]

HERMES
      My, my, how I’m always keen on presents
      when they’re made of gold.

TRYGAEUS
                                                      Come on then men,
                                                490
      get to work in there. Take those picks of yours,
      move in, and get those stones removed. Hurry!

CHORUS LEADER
      We’ll do it. But you, wisest of the gods,
      take charge of us. You understand this task,
      so tell us what we need to do. You’ll find
      we won’t be slack in doing other work.
                                                                                               [430]

TRYGAEUS
      Come on, hurry up and hold the bowl out,
      so we can offer prayers up to the gods
      before beginning work.

HERMES
                                                              A libation!
      A libation! Now speak the reverent words.
                                                                      500
      Speak well. As we pour out this libation,
      let’s pray an age begins this very day
      when many fine things come for all the Greeks,
      and anyone who works with his whole heart
      to pull the ropes won’t grip his shield again.
*

TRYGAEUS
      By Zeus, may we spend our lives in peace,
                                                                                      [440]
      embracing mistresses and poking fires.

HERMES
      And any man who’d rather be at war . . . 

TRYGAEUS [interrupting]
      O lord Dionysus, may he never stop
      yanking arrows from his funny bone.
                                                                                   510

HERMES
      If there’s a man eager for army rank
      who does not wish to drag you to the light,
      O lady, in his battles . . . 

TRYGAEUS [interrupting again]
                                          May he go through
      the same experience as Cleomenes.
*

HERMES
      And anyone who manufactures spears
      or deals in shields and thus is keen for war
      because of better trade . . . 

TRYGAEUS [interrupting]
                                                      Let such a man
      be seized by thieves and get no food to eat
      but barley.

HERMES
                              If someone will not work with us 
                                                                     [450]
      because he wants to be a general,
                                                                                             520
      or if a slave is ready to desert . . . 

TRYGAEUS
     May he be laid out on a wheel and whipped.

HERMES
      May good things come to us!  Now raise a shout!
      Strike up a cry of joy!

TRYGAEUS
                                        Leave out the strike.
      Just shout out for joy.
*

HERMES
                                                   Oh, all right, then.

      Hail! Hail!  That’s all I’ll say! Hail to Hermes,
      the Graces and the Seasons, to Aphrodite
      and Desire! What about Ares?

CHORUS
                                                                   No, no!

TRYGAEUS
      And no cheers for Enyalius, right?
*

CHORUS
                                                              No! 

[The Chorus wrap the rope around something in the cavern and start to pull, 
but, as they make the effort, they get hopelessly confused, pulling in different 
directions and falling over each other]

TRYGAEUS
      All right, everyone make a real effort                                                 
530
      and pull these ropes to reel her in.

HERMES
                                            Heave away!

CHORUS LEADER
     Heave ho!
                                                                                                                                                                            [460]

HERMES
                          Come on, pull!

CHORUS LEADER
                                              Pull even harder!

HERMES
      Heave . . . Come on, heave!

TRYGAEUS
                                               The men won’t pull together.

[Trygaeus turns to one group of men]

      Why not pull your weight? You’re too proud to work.
      O you Boeotians, you’ll be crying soon.

HERMES
      All right now, heave.

TRYGAEUS
                                           Heave ho!

CHORUS LEADER [to Hermes and Trygaeus]
                                                                  You two there,
      come on and pull as well.

TRYGAEUS
                                            Aren’t I pulling, too—
                                                                            [470]
      holding the rope and hauling furiously,
      working really hard?

CHORUS LEADER
                                           Then how come this job
      isn’t moving forward?

TRYGAEUS [to one of the workmen]
                                                             Hey, Lamachus,
                                               540
      you’re a problem sitting there, in the way.
      My good man, we don’t need your monster.
*

HERMES
      Well, these Argives haven’t been hauling long.
      They laugh at other people’s suffering,
      collecting pay and rations from both sides.
*

TRYGAEUS
      But
Spartans, my dear chap, are pulling rope
      like real men.

CHORUS LEADER
                                             But look—among that crowd 
      the only ones who’re keen to help are those
      who’ve been chained up in jail. The arms makers 
                                                                  [480]
      keep getting in their way.
*

TRYGAEUS
                                                     The Megarians                                      
550
      aren’t making any effort.  

HERMES
                                                Well, they’re pulling
      and showing all their teeth, like puppy dogs.

TRYGAEUS
     
 Yes, by Zeus, because they’re dying of hunger.*
      Hey, you men, we’re not getting anywhere.
      We must all work at this together.
      So one more time.

HERMES
                                        Heave!

TRYGAEUS
                                                       Heave away!

HERMES
                                                                              Heave!

TRYGAEUS
     By Zeus, pull!

CHORUS LEADER
                                 We’re shifting it a little.
                                                                                          [490]

TRYGAEUS
      This is dreadful—some are pulling one way,
      others in another. You Argives there,
      you’re going to get a beating!

HERMES
                                                Come on, heave!
                                                                  560

TRYGAEUS
      Pull!

CHORUS LEADER
              There’re people here with us who’re traitors.

TRYGAEUS
      But those of you who long for Peace keep pulling—
      put your backs into it!

CHORUS LEADER
                                             But some men here
      are interfering, getting in the way.

HERMES
      Oh, you Megarians, get the hell away!
                                                                                                 [500]
      The goddess hates you, for she remembers 
      you were the first to rub your garlic on her.
*
      And you Athenians, I’m telling you
      stop holding that position where you’re pulling
      at the moment—you’re not doing anything                                        
570
      but fighting in the courts. If you really wish
      to set the goddess free, then move on down,
      shift yourselves towards the sea a little.
*

CHORUS LEADER
      All right, men, let the farmers grab the rope
      all by themselves, with no one else.

HERMES
      Ah, you men, now things are going much better.

CHORUS LEADER
      He says we’re getting somewhere. Come on, then,
                                                                 [510]
      every man must pull with all he’s got!

TRYGAEUS
      Hey, the farmers are getting the job done,
      all by themselves.

CHORUS LEADER
                                   Come on, all of you.
                                                                               580
      Come on!

HERMES
                       Now they’re working all together!

CHORUS LEADER
      Let’s not relax—keep pulling even harder!

HERMES
      Here it comes now!

[Something starts to emerge being pulled from inside the cavern]

CHORUS LEADER
                                          Now heave!  Everyone, heave! 
      Heave!  Heave!  Heave! Heave!  Heave! Heave!
      Heave!  Heave!  Heave!  Heave!  Heave!  Everyone, heave!

[The trolley emerges from the cavern. On it stands Peace with her two attendants 
Opora and Theoria in a tableau reminiscent of contestants in a beauty pageant]

TRYGAEUS
      O holy lady who provides us grapes, 
                                                                                                    [520]
      where can I find words to speak to you,
      the ten-thousand-gallon words to greet you?
      I didn’t bring them when I came from home.
      And I welcome you as well, Opora,
                                                                                         590
      and Theoria, too. What a gorgeous face
      you’ve got there, Theoria, and sweet breath!
      So fragrant to my heart! It’s just lovely—
      like perfume or freedom from conscription.

HERMES
      You mean she smells just like a soldier’s pack?

TRYGAEUS
      The hateful pack of such a hateful person
      makes me puke—it stinks of onion belches.
      She smells of harvest times and festivals,
                                                                                          [530]
      the Dionysia, flute music, tragic plays,
      songs of Sophocles, thrushes, poetic scraps                                         
600
      penned by Euripides . . .
*

HERMES [interrupting]
                                          You’re in trouble now,
      spreading lies like that about her. She hates
      that poet who uses trivial phrases
      from the law courts.

TRYGAEUS [ignoring the interruption]
                                       . . . ivy, cloths for straining wine, 
      bleating flocks, women’s bosoms when they run
      out to the fields, a drunken serving girl, 
      a jug of wine when it’s been overturned,
      and lots of other splendid things.

HERMES
                                                         Come now,
      look how the city states are reconciled.
      They’re chatting with each other, laughing,
                                                                    610            [540]
      having a good time, though all of them
      have wonderful black eyes with cups attached.
*

TRYGAEUS
      And let’s also take a look at faces
      in the audience here, to see if we can guess
      what each man’s trade is.

HERMES
                                    That’s a stupid idea.

TRYGAEUS [pointing to someone in the audience]
      Can’t you see that man who makes battle crests?
      He’s tearing his hair.

HERMES 
                             There’s someone who makes hoes—
      he’s just farted at that sword smith.

TRYGAEUS
                                                        See that one,
      the sickle maker who’s feeling so good,
      he’s flipped his finger at the spear maker?
                                                                       620

HERMES
      All right, tell these labourers it’s time to go.
                                                                                   [550]

TRYGAEUS
      Listen up, folks. The peasants should be off,
      taking their farming tools back to the fields
      as soon as possible. But leave behind
      your swords and spears and javelins. This place
      has now been overrun with mellow Peace.
      So all men should move out and back to work—
      off to the fields, singing a song of joy!

CHORUS LEADER [to Peace]
      Ah, this day our workers have so yearned for
      and just men, too!  I see you and rejoice.
                                                                         630
      After such a long, long time, how I wish 
      to greet my vines. How my heart desires
      to hold in my embrace those same fig trees 
      I planted in the days when I was young.

TRYGAEUS
      Now men, first of all let’s offer prayers 
                                                                                             [560]
      to the goddess who’s brought us our freedom
      from battle crests and Gorgons. After that,
      let’s head off home, back to our farms. But first,
      let’s buy a nice little piece of pickled fish

      to eat while in the fields.

[The Chorus pick up their various tools and form a line, in preparation for leaving]

HERMES
                                                                      By
Poseidon,                                         640
      how fine their ranks look, compact and spirited,
      just like a barley cake or a sumptuous feast.

TRYGAEUS
      By
Zeus, that’s a splendid mattock he’s got there,
      all set to go, and those three-pronged garden forks
      are glistening in the sun. They could clear out
      the rows between our vines so beautifully!
      Now I’m keen to get back home myself,
      into the fields, working with my pitch fork,
      turning clods of earth after all this time.
                                                                                            [570]
      You men, remember that old way of life                                             
650
      Peace used to give us in our earlier days,
      those figs pressed into cakes or freshly picked,
      the myrtles and sweet new wine, the violets
      beside the spring, the olives we so longed for.
      For the sake of these speak to the goddess now.
                                                                        [580]

CHORUS
      Welcome, dearest goddess, welcome!
      How I rejoice now that you’ve come.
      Overwhelmed with longing for you,
      I kept hoping for a miracle,
      to go back to my fields again.
                                                                                                       660
      O lady we’ve been yearning for,
      you were the greatest benefit
      to all of us who spend our lives
      working on the land, for you alone
                                                                                                         [590]
      would help us out. In earlier days,
      while you were in control, we had
      so many sweet and lovely things
      that cost us nothing. For farmers
      you meant security and wheat.
      Our vineyards and our young fig trees                                                
670
      and all the other plants we have
      will smile with joy to welcome you.
                                                                                                        [600]

CHORUS LEADER
      But how can she have stayed away from us
      for all this time? Hermes, of all the gods
      you’re the friendliest to us, so tell me.

HERMES
      O you wisest of all working farmers,
      listen to my words, if you’d like to hear
      how Peace first went astray. It all began
      when that Phidias ran into trouble,
      and Pericles, afraid he’d share his fate,
                                                                                680
      for he was frightened of your character
      and your ferocious ways, fired up the town, 
      before he had to suffer anything
      too drastic, throwing out a little spark,
      the Megarian decree, and fanned it
      into a conflict so intense, the smoke 
                                                                                                    [610]
      drew tears from all the Greeks, not only here,
      but in Sparta, too.
*  Well, once that started,
      the first vineyards were compelled to crackle
      and a pot, once hit, kicked out in anger                                              
690
      at another pot, and there was no one there
      who could prevent it any more. And so,
      Peace just disappeared.

TRYGAEUS
                                                  Well, by Apollo,
      no one ever told me that’s what happened.
      I’d never heard how Peace could be hooked up
      with Phidias.

CHORUS LEADER
                                                    I hadn’t either,
      not until just now. But if she’s his kin,
      that’s why she’s beautiful. So many things
      are kept concealed from us!  

HERMES
                                                                 Well, after that,
      the towns who were your subjects, once they saw                               
700
      you were so enraged at one another 
                                                                                                    [620]
      and your fangs were out, hatched all sorts of plans
      against you, because they feared the tribute,
      and then used their gold to bribe the Spartans,
      the most important of them, and those men,
      being greedy and treacherous with strangers,
      tossed Peace out in a disgraceful manner
      and held out for war.
* This gained them profit,
      but brought the workers to catastrophe.
      Warships repeatedly went out from here                                            
710
      to get revenge
—they devoured the fig trees,
      which belonged to men who bore no blame.

TRYGAEUS
      No, that was justified
—those men chopped down
      one of my trees of dark grey figs, a bush
      I’d planted and then nursed with my own hands.

CHORUS LEADER
      Yes, by Zeus, that was truly well deserved!
                                                                                       [630]
      Those men destroyed a storage chest of mine.
      They smashed it with a stone. And that box held
      six bushels full of corn!

HERMES
                                                               Then working men
      came from their fields in droves and let themselves,
                                            720
      without their knowing it, be bought and sold, 
      just as the others were. Longing for figs,
      they didn’t even have grape pits to eat,
      and so they looked toward the demagogues.
      These men, who clearly knew how displaced folk
      were weak and short of food, with their forked cries
      drove Peace out, though she came back in person
      many times, moved by affection for the land.
      Then they began to squeeze the rich fat types
      among their allies, on the trumped-up charge                                    
730           [640]
      that they were followers of Brasidas.
      And then you lot would tear the man apart,
      like puppy-dogs. The city was all pale
      and cowering in fear. It would snap up
      every scrap of slander with great pleasure,
      whatever anyone tossed out. Strangers, 
      who saw the blows come raining down on them,
      stuffed mouths of the informers shut with gold.
      So they grew rich, while, without your knowledge,
      Greece might have been destroyed. This work was done                    
740
      by that man who dealt in leather.
*

TRYGAEUS
                                                     Stop, lord Hermes!
      That’s enough! Don’t tell us any more.
      Leave that man where he is, down in Hades.
      He’s no longer one of us. No, he’s yours.
                                                                                          [650]
      He was a villain when he was alive,
      a windbag who liked to slander people,
      an agitator who stirred up trouble,
      but when you mention all these things right now,
      your slandering one of your own people.
*

[Trygaeus moves to talk to Peace]

      But, reverend goddess, why are you so quiet?                                                               750
      Talk to me.

HERMES
                          She won’t speak to this audience.
      All the suffering she’s had to undergo
      has made her very angry at them.

TRYGAEUS
      Then let her say a few words just to you.
                                                                                           [660]

HERMES
      My dearest lady, tell me what you think
      about these people here. Come on now,
      of all women you hate war the most.

[Hermes put his ear close to Peace’s mouth to listen to her whisper to him]*

      Speak up. I’m listening. That’s what annoys you?
      I understand.  

[Hermes turns to address the audience]

                                            Listen, you people here.
      This is what she blames you for. She says                                            
760
      after that fight in Pylos she came here,
      of her own free will, bringing a basket
      full of treaties to the city, but you lot
      turned her down three times in your assembly.
*

TRYGAEUS
      We were wrong to do that. But forgive us

      back then our brains were crammed with leather.

HERMES
      Listen now to something she’s just asked me.
                                                                              [670]
      Who was the man most hostile to her here,
      and who was friendly, someone really keen
      not to fight on?

TRYGAEUS
                                            Well, Cleonymus                                           
770
      was her greatest friend by far.

HERMES
                                                       Cleonymus?

      What sort of fellow was he in a fight?

TRYGAEUS
      The very bravest spirit, except for this—
      he wasn’t the son of the man he claims
      as his own father. When he’d march out
      with the army, he wouldn’t hesitate
      to throw away his weapons.

[Hermes places his ear close to Peace’s mouth again]

HERMES
                                                  One more thing
     she’s just asked me: Who now governs you 
                                                                                    [680]
     and rules the rocky Pynx?
*

TRYGAEUS
                                                That position
      is now occupied by Hyperbolus.
*                                                                                                780

[Peace turns her head away in disgust]

      What are you doing? Why turn your head aside?

HERMES
      She’s turning away from these people here
      in anger that they’d choose to vote themselves
      such a scoundrel as their leader. 

TRYGAEUS
                                                            Ah well,
      we won’t be using him for very long.
      At the moment people need a leader.
      They feel naked, so, for the time being,
      they’ve wrapped that man around them.

[Hermes again places his ear close to Peace’s mouth]

HERMES
                                                     She asks
      how this choice will benefit the city.

TRYGAEUS
      We’ll become more politically shrewd.
                                                                                790

HERMES
      How will you do that?

TRYGAEUS
                                                Because Hyperbolus
      makes lamps. Before this, we decided things 
                                                                               [690]
      by groping in the dark. But now our plans
      are made by lamplight.

[Hermes again places his ear close to Peace’s mouth]

HERMES
                                                  My, my, the things
      she’s told me to find out from you!

TRYGAEUS
                                                         What things?

HERMES
      All sorts of stuff, especially ancient things
      she left behind so long ago. And first,
      she wants to know how Sophocles is doing.

TRYGAEUS
      He’s well, but something quite astonishing
      has happened to him.

HERMES
                                            And what is that?
                                                                        800

TRYGAEUS
      He’s changed from Sophocles into Simonides.
*

HERMES
      Into Simonides? How so?

TRYGAEUS
                                                He’s old,
      and he’s decrepit, but for a profit
      he’d go out sailing on a wicker mat.
*

HERMES
      Really?
 Is wise Cratinus still living?*                                                                                                       [700]

TRYGAEUS
      He died when the Spartans came marching in.

HERMES
      What went wrong with him?

TRYGAEUS
                                  What happened? He collapsed.
      He couldn’t bear to see jars full of wine
      being broken. How many other troubles
      have gone on in the city! So, lady,
                                                                                            810
      we’ll never ship you out again.

HERMES
                                                    Come on then,
      if that’s so, you should take Opora here
      as wife. Live with her in the countryside,
      and make yourselves some grapes.

TRYGAEUS [to Opora]
                                                My dearest love,
      come over here and kiss me.

[Trygaeus and Opora embrace. Trygaeus turns to Hermes]

                                                           Lord Hermes,                                                                                             [710]
      do you think it would do me any harm
      if, after such a long time with no sex,
      I had some with Opora?

HERMES
                                                     Not at all,   
      not if you take pennyroyal later.
*
      But take Theoria and lead her off                                                         820
      to the council place, where she lived before.
      Get a move on!

TRYGAEUS
                                         O that blessed council,
      it gets Theoria. You’ll be slurping soup
      in huge amounts over the next three days,
      eating so much meat and boiled sausage! 
      And so, dear friend Hermes, a fond farewell!

HERMES
      And farewell to you, too, human mortal.
      May you live happy, and remember me.

[Trygaeus prepares to leave, but when he looks for his flying dung beetle, it’s nowhere 
to be seen. He starts calling it]

TRYGAEUS
      Time to go home, beetle, let’s fly off home.
                                                                                   [720]

HERMES
      He’s not in there.

TRYGAEUS
                                     Then where’s he gone?
                                                                     830

HERMES
      He’s harnessed to the chariot of Zeus
      and bears the lightning bolt.
*

TRYGAEUS
                                                The poor thing!
      Where will he find shit to eat in heaven?

HERMES
       He’ll feed on Ganymede’s ambrosia.*

TRYGAEUS
       All right, but how do I get down?

HERMES
                                                                   It’s easy.
      Don’t worry. Go this way past the goddess.

TRYGAEUS
      This way, girls, just follow me, and quickly.
      There’s lots of people waiting there for you
      with their erections ready.

CHORUS LEADER
                                                         Go on!  Farewell!

[Trygaeus, Opora, Theoria and Hermes leave the stage]

      Meanwhile we should hand all this equipment                                    840
      over to attendants—give it to them
                                                                                                        [730]
      to keep safely. There are many thieving types
      who really like to hang around the stage
      and look for things to steal. 

[The Chorus hands over its various farm implements to stage hands who come in to collect it]

                                          Guard these bravely,
      and let’s explain to these spectators here
      the road our words will take, what’s on our minds.

[The Chorus moves to address the audience directly]

CHORUS
      The judges here ought to thrash the comic poet
      who steps onto the stage in front of these spectators
      to praise himself in verse. But, daughter of Zeus,
      if it’s all right to pay due honour to the man                                       
850
      who is the finest and best known comic writer,
      then our producer claims he merits your great praise.
      First, he’s was the only man who stopped his rivals
      making constant fun of rags and fighting wars with lice,
                                                  [740]
      and the first to ridicule and banish from the stage
      the Herculeses who were always making cakes
      and going hungry. He also dismissed those slaves
      who kept on running off, or deceiving someone,
      or getting whipped. They were always led out crying,
      so one of their fellow slaves could mock the bruises                           
860
      and ask then: “O you poor miserable fellow,
      what’s happened to your skin? Surely a huge army
      of lashes from a whip has fallen down on you
      and laid waste your back?” Yes, our poet has removed
      such feeble trash, such commonplace tomfoolery,
      and created a great art for us, by building up
      high-towered homes from lovely words and thoughts and jokes 
                             [750]
      which are not trivial stuff. And he does not present
      obscure private types or women in his dramas.
      No, with the spirit of Hercules he attacks                                            
870
      the greatest targets, striding through the dreadful stink
      of stripped-off leather hide and the grandiloquence
      of those with hearts of mud.  

CHORUS LEADER

                                                      Of all the bouts I fought
      the very first was with the fanged-tooth one himself,
      whose eyes shot out most dreadful
rays, like a Bitch Star.
      Round him circled a hundred moaning flatterers,
      who’d spit-lick his head. He had a thundering torrent
      of a voice, and he smelled as nasty as a seal,
      the unwashed balls of Lamia, and camels’ arse holes.
*
      When I saw this monstrosity, I did not fear,                                                                   880
      but kept fighting constant wars with him, holding out
      on your behalf and for the islanders. And so,
                                                                               [760]
      it’s only right that you remember me and show
      your gratitude by paying me back. Before this point,
      when I’ve had success, I didn’t lose my mind and roam
      around the wrestling schools trying to seduce young lads.
      No, I took my theatre gear and went off on my way.
      I didn’t cause much pain and brought you great delight,
      producing everything just how it ought to be.

CHORUS
      And for this reason men and boys                                                      
890
      should side with me. And we advise
      bald men to join with us and strive
      for victory, since if I win,
      at tables and at festivals 
                                                                                                                                    [770]
      every man will say, “Here, take this
      to that bald man, give this bald man
      a sweet dessert, and don’t hold back
      from a man whose forehead matches
      our noble poet’s balding skull.”
*

      O Muse, drive wars away and dance,                                                                                     900
      my friend, dance with us
celebrate
      the weddings of the gods, the feasts
      of mortal men, and festivals
      of those who have been blessed, for these 
                                                                                      [780]
      have from the start been your concern.
      And if that Carcinus should come
      begging you to join his children
      in a dance, don’t listen to him
      or move to help them with their play.
*
      Think of them all as homebred quails,
                                                                                 910
      dancing dwarves with long scraggy necks,
      sliced-up lumps of dung, who put on
                                                                                                    [790]
      mere artifice. Their father claimed
      that once a play he was to stage,
      a work no one had thought he’d write,
      was choked one evening by a weasel.
*

      Such are the long-haired Muses’ songs
      the clever poet ought to sing
      before the public, when swallows 
                                                                                                            [800]
      sitting in the leaves in springtime                                                       
920
      let forth their song, and choruses
      of Morsimus are not allowed,
      nor any from Melanthius,
      whose most ear-piercing voice I heard
      once screaming out
it was that day
      he and his brother put on stage
      the tragic chorus.
 What a pair!
      Gorgon epicures and Harpies,
                                                                                                                      [810]
      ravenously devouring roaches,
      foul rogues chasing down old women                                                 
930
      and wiping out whole schools of fish.
      What more, their armpits stink like goats!
*
      O goddess Muse, please spit on them—
      a huge, wide gob of phlegm—and then,
      throughout the party, play with me. 

[Trygaeus, now back home, enters with Opora and Theoria]

TRYGAEUS
     
 That was tough, going straight up to the gods.
      My legs are really aching. You people 
                                                                                                 [820]
      were tiny from up there. When I peered down,
      from heaven you looked like total scoundrels,
      but from here you seem a great deal worse.
                                                                   940

[The First Servant comes from Trygaeus’ house]

FIRST SERVANT
      Master, you’ve come back?

TRYGAEUS
                                        That’s what I’ve been told.

FIRST SERVANT
      What’s happened to you?

TRYGAEUS
                                             My legs are hurting—
      it was a long road to travel.

FIRST SERVANT
                                     So tell me now . . .         

TRYGAEUS 
      What?

FIRST SERVANT
                                   Did you see any other human,
      besides yourself, wandering through the air.

TRYGAEUS
      No, except perhaps two or three spirits
      of dithyrambic poets.

FIRST SERVANT
                                 What were they doing?
                                                                                           [830]

TRYGAEUS
      Oh, fluttering about collecting preludes
      as they drifted in the airy breezes.

FIRST SERVANT
      So it isn’t true when people tell us                                                       
950
      once we’re dead, we’ll be stars up in the sky?

TRYGAEUS
      No, that’s really true.

FIRST SERVANT
                                   Then who’s that star there?

TRYGAEUS
      That’s Ion of Chios, who once composed,
      when he was here, a poem about the dawn.
      As soon as he got there, they all called him
      the Star of Dawn.

FIRST SERVANT
                                   Who are those stars up there
      that rush across and blaze out as they move?

TRYGAEUS
      They are wealthy stars who, after dinner,
                                                                                         [840]
      are making their way home, holding lanterns
      with lights inside. But come on, hurry up                                            
960
      and take this girl. Conduct her to the house.
      Clean the bath tub, and heat some water up.
      Prepare the wedding bed for me and her.
      When you’ve finished that, come back here again.
      Meanwhile, I’ll give this one to the council.

FIRST SERVANT
      Where’d you get these girls?

TRYGAEUS
                                         Where else? In heaven.

FIRST SERVANT
      I wouldn’t give three obols for the gods
      if they keep bawdy houses, just like us.

TRYGAEUS
      No they don’t, but there are some up there
                                                                                    [850]
      who do live off the trade.

FIRST SERVANT [to Opora]
                                               Come on then, let’s go.
                                                   970
      Tell me, should I give her something to eat?

TRYGAEUS
      No.
 She won’t want to eat any bread or cake.
      She always had the habit of licking up
      ambrosia with the gods in heaven.

FIRST SERVANT
      Well, we’ll just have to see if we can find 
      something for her to lick down here.

[First Servant exits with Opora into Trygaeus’ house]

CHORUS
      This old man, as far as we can see,
      is now working things out happily.

TRYGAEUS
      What will you think when very soon
      you see me as a bright bridegroom?
                                                                                       980

CHORUS
      An old man to envy I presume.
                                                                                                                   [860]
      Once more you’ll have your youthful bloom
      and lie there drenched in sweet perfume.

TRYGAEUS
      I think you’re right. And in a bit
      when I’m in bed and hold her tit?

CHORUS
      Happier than a top-spinning lad
      who calls that Carcinus his dad.

TRYGAEUS
      I deserve it. Is that not true?
      I, one man, on a beetle flew
     
 and saved the Greeks, who free from harm                                         990
      now sleep and fuck on every farm.

[First Servant returns from the house]

FIRST SERVANT
      The girl has finished bathing, and her bum      
      looks splendid. There’s a flat cake ready.
      And the sesame balls are being rolled up.
*
      Everything’s prepared. All we need now 
                                                                                           [870]
      is an erect cock.

TRYGAEUS
                                      Then let’s get going
      and present Theoria to the Council.

FIRST SERVANT
      This girl here?
 Who is she?

TRYGAEUS
                                             What do you mean?
      This is Theoria.

FIRST SERVANT
                                                What? The girl
      we used to travel with to Brauron                                                       
1000 
      and then get drunk and screw?
*

TRYGAEUS
                                                 The very same.

      I had a hard time getting her away.

FIRST SERVANT
      Oh, master, look at the ass on her—
      I’d wait four years for that!

TRYGAEUS [to the audience]
                                                Now, let’s see.
      Is there an honest man among you lot?
      Where is he? Who’ll take charge of this girl here
      and guard her for the Council?

[To the First Servant who has been fondling Theoria’s backside]

                                                        Hey you,
      what are you doing? Drawing a chart?

FIRST SERVANT
      Me?
Oh, I’m reserving a camping spot
      to house my prick in the Isthmian Games.
*                                                                    1010           [880]

TRYGAEUS [to the audience]
      Tell me the man who’ll look after her.

[To Theoria]

      Come here. I’m going to take you down there
      and put you in the middle of them.

FIRST SERVANT
                                                    Look there—
      someone’s nodding his head!

TRYGAEUS
                                                     Who is it?

FIRST SERVANT
      Who is it? It’s Ariphrades urging you
      to take her over to him.

TRYGAEUS
                                  No, he’ll jump her
      and start slurping in her lap. 

[To Theoria]

                                                          Come now,
      to start with you can take that clothing off.

[Theoria undresses and stands nude in front of the audience. Trygaeus takes her to up close to the spectators]*

TRYGAEUS
      You council members and public officers,
       look on this Theoria and witness                                                        
1020
       the splendid things I bring and give to you.
       You can quickly raise these two legs of hers
       high in the air and roast your sacrifice.
                                                                                              [890]
       Look at the oven she’s got. 

FIRST SERVANT [peering at Theoria’s public hair]
                                                                   Magnificent! 
      Smoky black down here because the Council
      used to cook their meat in her before the war.

TRYGAEUS
      And now she’s yours. At first light tomorrow
      you can arrange some really splendid games—
      wrestling on the ground, mounting doggy style,
     
 lying her on her side, or on her knees,                                                                                 1040
      bending over, or rubbing on the oil
      and grappling in a youthful free-for-all,
      gouging and striking with your fists and prick. 
      Next day you’ll organize equestrian games,
                                                                                   [900]
      where riders straddle riders, chariots crash
      on top of one another, and blow and pant
      as they go at it. Then other riders
      will be lying there with cocks all scraped
      from falling out while moving round the turns.
      So come on, you officials of the state,
                                                                                  1050
      accept Theoria.  

[Theoria moves down to the first row of spectators]

                                              Look how eagerly
      that public officer’s receiving her!

[Addressing the public official Theoria is now giving him a lap dance]

      That’s a motion you’d never introduce
      if you weren’t going to get a big pay off.
      No. I’d have found you reaching for a peace.
* 

CHORUS
      A useful man brings the state bliss
                                                                                                           [910]
      And that’s the kind of man this is.

TRYGAEUS
      When you go gather in your grape
      you’ll see I’m in much better shape.

CHORUS
      But now it’s clear what you’ve become.
                                                                               1060
      You’ve saved mankind—that’s everyone. 

TRYGAEUS
      Once you’ve chugged down some new-made wine,
      a goblet full, you’ll say I’m fine.

CHORUS
      And we will constantly attest
      but for the gods you are the best.

TRYGAEUS
      I’m Trygaeus from Athmonum.
      and you owe me a tidy sum.
      I’ve pushed away harsh misery.
                                                                                                                   [920]
      Now farm and working folk are free.
      I’ve made Hyperbolus succumb.
                                                                                                 1070

FIRST SERVANT
      All right, what do we have to do next?

TRYGAEUS
      What else but to install the goddess Peace
      by offering up some earthen pots?

FIRST SERVANT
                                                With pots?

      Just like a grumpy little Hermes?
* 

TRYGAEUS
      What do you think we should offer her?
      A fattened bull?

FIRST SERVANT
                                   An ox?
 No not that.
      We don’t need to serve as ox-iliaries.

TRYGAEUS
      Then what about a big fat porker?

FIRST SERVANT
                                                No, no.

TRYGAEUS
      Why not?

FIRST SERVANT
                         Because we might turn into swine,
      just like Theagenes.
* 

TRYGAEUS
                                  Well what do you think?
                                                                      1080
      What other animal?

FIRST SERVANT
                                      What about this,
      a bummer lamb?

TRYGAEUS
                                 A bummer?

FIRST SERVANT
                                                       Yes, by god.

TRYGAEUS
      But that’s a slang expression.
*                                                                                                                                     [930]

FIRST SERVANT
                                              That’s deliberate—
      so when anyone in the assembly
      says we must have war, those sitting there
      can all cry out in fear, “War’s a bummer!”

TRYGAEUS
      That’s a fine idea!

FIRST SERVANT
                                             And in other things
      we’ll be like gentle lambs, being very kind
      to one another and a whole lot milder
      to our allies.

TRYGAEUS
                                    All right, now get cracking.
                                                            1090
      Find that sheep and bring it here. I’ll prepare
      an altar so we’ll have a sacrifice.

[First Servant leaves]

CHORUS
      How everything the gods desire
      and fortune turns into a favour
      moves on to what we all intend.
                                                                                                                [940]
      One by one, the good things come,
      with luck all things work in the end.

TRYGAEUS [pointing to a structure on the raised stage]
      That makes good sense. Here’s our outside altar.

[Trygaeus goes into his house and reappears with a basket during the Chorus’ next speech]

CHORUS
      Hurry while the stiff winds pause.

      The gods have shifted them from war.
                                                                                 1100
      The spirits clearly want a change
      to something better than before. 

TRYGAEUS [returning from the house]
      Here’s the basket with barley seed, ribbons,
      and a knife. We’ve got fire as well. So now,
      the only thing we’re missing is the sheep.

CHORUS
      You’d better get a move on then—
                                                                                                          [950]
      If Chaeris sees you, he’ll show up
      although you’ve not invited him.
      He’ll have his flute with him, as well,
      and tootle it for all he’s worth.
                                                                                                     1110
      You’ll have to offer him a gift.
* 

[First Servant returns with a sheep. Trygaeus brings out some water in a basin]

TRYGAEUS [to the First Servant]
     
 Come on then, you can take the basket
      and this water for our hands. Circle round
      the altar quickly, moving to the right.

FIRST SERVANT [following the instructions]
      Watch, then. Now I’ve made my way around it.
      You can tell me something else.

TRYGAEUS
                                                                Hang on.  
      I’ll pick up this piece of burning wood
      and plunge it in the water.  

[Trygaeus takes the stick out of the water and shakes drops of water on the altar and on 
the sheep. He then speaks directly to the sheep]

                                                   Nod your head.                                                                                  [960]

[The sheep does nothing]

      Hurry up!

[The sheep eventually nods its head. Trygaeus addresses the First Servant]

                        Give me barley grains.           

[The First Servant hands the basket to Trygaeus, who takes some barley grains 
out of it and sprinkles them on the altar and on the sheep]

                                                                    Now that basin—
      wash
your hands and then give it to me.
                                                                           1120

[The First Servant and Trygaeus wash their hands in the water in the basin]

      Now throw some barley in the audience.

[The First Servant tosses some barley grains out over the spectators]

FIRST SERVANT
      There, that’s done!

TRYGAEUS
                      You’ve thrown them out already?

SERVANT
      Yes, by Hermes.
 There’re no spectators here
      who didn’t get some seed.

TRYGAEUS
                                      But none of it
      was taken by the women.
*

FIRST SERVANT
                                                        No.
 Their men
      will fill them full of seed once evening comes.

TRYGAEUS
      All right. Then let us pray.  

[Trygaeus holds up the bowl of water and calls out to start the ritual]

                                                        Who is present here?
     
 Where might their be many righteous men?

FIRST SERVANT
      Come on, give me the bowl. There’s lots of them,
      and they’re all stout fellows.

[The First Servant takes the bowl and throws the water over the Chorus.  
The members of the Chorus back away trying to avoid getting wet]

TRYGAEUS
                                                 You really think so?
                                                         1130           [970]
      These are righteous men?

FIRST SERVANT
                                  Yes, they are. We soaked them
      with that ritual water, and they’ve come back.
      They stood their ground.      

TRYGAEUS
                                         All right, let’s pray right away.

CHORUS LEADER
       Yes, let us pray.

TRYGAEUS
      O most holy goddess, sacred Peace,
      queen who rules our choral dancing,
      queen of wedding celebrations,
      receive our offerings to you.

CHORUS LEADER
      Yes, most honoured lady, receive it,
      Yes, by Zeus, and don’t act like wives                                                  
1140
      who like to sleep around, those women
                                                                                             [980]
      who open up the door a crack, peep out,
      and then, if anyone starts eyeing them,
      pull back again—but if he goes away,
      they start looking out once more.
      Don’t be like that with us again.

TRYGAEUS
      No, by god, but like a noble woman
      reveal yourself completely to us,
      who love you and for thirteen years now
                                                                                          [990]
      have been longing for you. Dissolve our fights,
                                                          1150
      our noisy quarrels, so we can call you
      our Lysimache.
* And bring to an end
      our subtle suspiciousness, which leads us on
      to babble nonsense to each other.
      Bring us Greeks together once again,
      a new start with the juice of friendship,
      soothe our minds with a kinder tolerance,
      and let fine goods fill up our market place—
      huge garlics, early cucumbers, apples,
                                                                                                  [1000]
      pomegranates, and for our servants cloaks,
                                                                   1160
      but tiny ones. May we see men bringing
      geese, ducks, and pigeons from Boeotia,
      larks, as well, and may baskets full of eels
      arrive from lake Copais. Let all of us
      go out to buy them in a common crowd
      and jostle with Morychus and Teleas
      and Glaucetes and many other gluttons.
      Let Malanthius come to market last,                                                    
     [1010]
      so they’re sold out and he begins to wail
      and then to sing a song from his
 Medea,                                                                             1170
      “I am dying, done for, now I am bereft
      the ladies lying hiding in the beets.”
*
      And may men find all that delightful.
      Grant these our prayers, most honoured goddess.

FIRST SERVANT
      Take the knife and like a true master cook
      butcher the sheep.

TRYGAEUS
                           No.
 That’s not right.

FIRST SERVANT
                                                                        Why not?

TRYGAEUS
      Peace surely gets no joy from slaughter.
      Nor should one spill blood across her altar.
                                                                                    [1020]
      Go, take the beast inside and sacrifice it.
      Then cut the thigh bones out and bring them here.
                                               1180
      That way we’ll save the sheep for our producer.

[The First Servant takes the knife and leads the sheep back into the house]

CHORUS
      But here outside you’d better stop,
      and quickly set the wood you chop,
      and then all else you need on top.

TRYGAEUS [arranging kindling for a small fire on the altar]
      Well, don’t you think I’m setting up the wood
      like a real diviner.

CHORUS
                                                    You are indeed.
      Does anything a clever man should know
      escape you? What is there that you don’t know
      which a man esteemed for his wise mind
                                                                                          [1030]
      and for his daring ought to know?                                                

TRYGAEUS
                                                          There we are!
                                                          1190
      The wood’s alight. Stilbides will be upset.
*
      I’ll go fetch a table. I don’t need the lad

[Trygaeus goes inside the house]

CHORUS
      Who would not praise a man like that
      who’s put up with so much danger
      and has saved our sacred city?
      Surely you’ll remain the envy
      of people for all time to come.

[Trygaeus and the First Servant return with a table and the things needed 
for the sacrifice, including various parts of the sacrificial sheep]

FIRST SERVANT
      All right, it’s ready. You take the thigh bones
     
 and set them out. I’ll go for the entrails                                                                                                [1040]
      and the offering of food.

[First Servant goes into the house]

TRYGAEUS
                                               
 I’ll take care of it.                                                                                  1200 

[Trygaeus sets out the thigh bones on the altar, then calls after the First Servant]

      You need to be here!

[First Servant returns from the house carrying the entrails and some cakes as offerings]
       
FIRST SERVANT
                                           All right, here I am.
      You don’t think I’m wasting time, do you?

TRYGAEUS
      Now make sure these things are properly cooked.

[Trygaeus looks to the side and sees someone coming]

      Someone’s coming here wearing a garland.
      It’s made of laurel. Who the hell is he?

FIRST SERVANT [looking in the same direction]
      The man looks like a total charlatan.
      He must be a diviner.

TRYGAEUS
                                            No, by god.

      It must be Hierocles from Oreus,
      the one who peddles oracles.

FIRST SERVANT
                                           All right.
      What’s he going to say?

TRYGAEUS
                                         Well, it’s clear enough                                      
1210
      he’s going to oppose the peace agreement.

FIRST SERVANT
      No, it’s the smell of sacrificial meat
                                                                                                        [1050]
      that’s brought him here.

TRYGAEUS
                                        Then let’s pretend
      we don’t see him.

FIRST SERVANT
                                      That’s all right with me.

[Hierocles enters]

HIEROCLES
      What’s this sacrifice? To which one of the gods?

TRYGAEUS [to the First Servant]
     
 Keep quiet while your cooking and don’t touch
      those parts of the rump.

HIEROCLES
                                        Aren’t you going to say
      who this sacrifice is for?

TRYGAEUS
                                      Ah, that’s good—
      the tail is roasting well.

FIRST SERVANT
                                     Yes, a good omen.

      O dear friend, lady Peace!

HIEROCLES
                                                       Come on now,
                                                            1220
      start the offerings and give me the first piece.

TRYGAEUS
      It’s better to do the roasting first.

HIEROCLES [peering at the cooking meat]
      But these are cooked already.

TRYGAEUS
                                 Whoever you are,
      you’re too much in the way.  

[to the First Servant]

                                                Slice them up.

FIRST SERVANT
      Where’s the table?

TRYGAEUS
                             Bring out the libations.

[The First Servant goes into the house]

HIEROCLES
      The tongue is cut all by itself.
                                                                                                                        [1060]

TRYGAEUS
                                                     We know.
      You know what you should do?

HIEROCLES
                                                 Yes, if you tell me.

TRYGAEUS
      Don’t say a word to us. We’re offering
      a holy sacrifice to Peace.

HIEROCLES [in the grand style]
      O you miserable foolish mortal men!
                                                                                   1230

TRYGAEUS [interrupting]
      It’s your head you’re talking about!

HIEROCLES [continuing as before]
      You who are so ignorant, you don’t know
      what gods think, you’ve come to an agreement,
      you who are men, with fierce-eyed monkeys.

TRYGAEUS [laughing]
     
 Ha, ha, ha!

HIEROCLES
                         Why are you laughing?

TRYGAEUS
                                                     I liked that—
      fierce-eyed monkeys!

HIEROCLES [continuing in the grand style]
      Like timid idiots you place your trust in foxes,
      who’ve got deceitful minds, treacherous hearts.

TRYGAEUS
      You rascal, I wish your lungs were as hot
      as what’s cooking here.

HIEROCLES
                                         If those holy nymphs
                                                                                   [1070]
      had not swindled Bacis and Bacis then                                                 1240
      had not misled mankind, and if those nymphs
     
had not tricked Bacis one more time . . .
*

TRYGAEUS
                                                          Damn you!
      May you be utterly wiped out if you
      don’t stop prattling on about that Bacis.

HIEROCLES [continuing as before]
      For it has not yet been decreed by Fate
      that bonds of Peace should e’er be loosed
      until such time as first of all . . . 

TRYGAEUS
                                                     This food here
      be dusted with this salt.

HIEROCLES
                                                   The blessed gods
      will not be pleased that warfare terminate,
      until the wolf is wedded to the sheep.
                                                                                   1250

TRYGAEUS
      Damn you, how could a wolf ever get married
      to a sheep?

HIEROCLES
                                              As long as the wood bug,
      when it flies, emits the foulest smelling farts,
      as long as the noisy polecat bitch still strives
      to deliver her blind litter, that’s how long
      it is not right for peace to have been made.

TRYGAEUS
      Then what should we have done? Not stop the war?
                                                             [1080]
      Or decide by lot which of the two groups
      should howl the loudest, when there’s a chance
      for peace and we can then rule Greece together?
                                                     1260

HIEROCLES
      You will never make the crab walk straight.

TRYGAEUS
      In future you will never eat again
      at the Prytaneum or offer up
      poetic fictions after the event.
*

HIEROCLES
     You will never smooth the prickly hedgehog.

TRYGAEUS
      You’ve been deceiving the Athenians—
       will there ever come a day when you will stop?

HIEROCLES
      What sort of oracle commanded you
      to burn these thigh parts to the deities?

TRYGAEUS
      Well, of course, it was the work of Homer,
                                                                     1270          [1090]
      that splendid oracle: “They pushed aside
      the hateful cloud of war and then chose Peace,
      installing her with beasts for sacrifice.
      Once they’d cooked the thighs and tasted entrails,
      they poured libations from a cup”—I led the way,
      but no one gave a gleaming cup of wine
      to the man who peddled oracles.

HIEROCLES
      I’ll have no part of that. It’s not a utterance
      delivered by the Sibyl.
*

TRYGAEUS
                                                              But, by god, 
      wise Homer does say something pertinent:
                                                                    1280
      “The man in love with dreadful civil war
      has no community, no rights, no home.”

HIEROCLES
      Be on your guard lest somehow a raptor bird
                                                                               [1100]
      seizes your wits, deceives you by a trick.

TRYGAEUS [to the First Servant as he comes out of the house]
      You, watch out for that bird
—this oracle
      is threatening our meat. Make a libation
      and pass the entrails over here to me.

[The First Servant makes a libation and serves Trygaeus some of the meat]

HIEROCLES
      If it’s all right with you, I’ll help myself.

[Hierocles approaches the table with the offering on it]

TRYGAEUS
      Libation! Libation!

HIEROCLES
                                      Pour out some for me.
      Present me with a portion of the meat.
                                                                              1290

TRYGAEUS
      But that’s not pleasing to the blessed gods.
      Not before this happens—we pour a drink
      and you get out of here. O lady Peace,
      remain
with us for all our lives.

HIEROCLES
                                      Serve me the tongue.

TRYGAEUS
      Why don’t you get your tongue away from here.

HIEROCLES [grabbing some of the wine]
      Libation!

TRYGAEUS [hitting Hierocles]
                   Take this with your libation—
                                                                                                 [1110]
      and hurry up.

HIEROCLES
                                 Will no one offer me
      the entrails?

TRYGAEUS
                                           That’s not possible for us.
      We can’t give you any, not until the wolf
      gets married to the sheep.

HIEROCLES
                                      I’m begging you, 
     
 by your own knees . . .                  

TRYGAEUS [imitating Hierocles’ earlier style]
                                                               A futile supplication.
                               1300
      You’ll never make the prickly hedgehog smooth.

[to the audience]

      Come on, you spectators, come here and share
      these entrails with us.

HIEROCLES
                                        What’s for me?

TRYGAEUS
      You?
 You can eat your Sibyl.

HIEROCLES
                                                         No, by Earth
      you two aren’t going to eat that up alone.
      I’ll grab it from you. It’s public property.

[Hierocles tries to steal some meat, but Trygaeus stops him and starts hitting him]

TRYGAEUS
      Hit him! Hit this Bacis!

[The First Servant starts hitting Hierocles with a stick]

HIEROCLES
                                         I call as witnesses . . .

TRYGAEUS
      And so do I
—that you’re a greedy fraud!                                                                                            [1120]
      Keep on hitting him with that stick of yours—
      the imposter!

FIRST SERVANT [giving Trygaeus the stick]
                                        You do it. I’ll strip him                                       
1310
      of those skins he stole from us by lying.
      Come on, soothsayer, let go of those skins!
      Do you hear me!

[Hierocles runs off in terror of a beating]

                                     What a fine crow he is
      that’s flown in from Oreus! Why not fly
      quickly on your journey to Elymnium!
*

[Trygaeus and the First Servant go into the house]

CHORUS
      I’m full of joy, yes, full of joy,
      free from helmets, free from cheese,
      and free from onions, too.
      I don’t find battles any fun
                                                                                                                        [1130]
      not like the good parties with my friends                                            
1320
      and steady drinking round the fire,
      blazing wood from well-dried logs
      cut up in summer time,
      cooking chick peas, roasting acorns,
      giving our Thracian girl a kiss,
      while the wife is in her bath.

CHORUS LEADER
      Nothing’s more pleasant, once the sowing done,
                                                                      [1140]
      than for god to send soft rain drizzling down
      and for a friend to say, “Since it’s like this,
      Comarchides, tell me what we should do.”
                                                                      1330
      “Well, since the god is treating us so well,
       I’d like to be drinking.
 So come on, wife,
      warm up three measures of those chick peas,
      mix in some wheat with them, and give us figs.
      Get Sura to call Manes from the fields.
      Today it’s totally impossible 
      to prune the vines or shovel up the mud.
      The ground is soaked right through. Get someone
      to fetch the thrush for me and those two finches.
      And there was fresh birth milk in the house                                        
1340          [1150]
      and four bits of hare, unless the weasel 
      got off with some of them last evening.
      I don’t know what was making all that noise
      and rattling round in there. And so, my boy,
      serve us up three of them and then take one
      and give it to my father. And then ask
      Aeschinades for some myrtle branches,
      ones with berries, and since it’s on the way
      someone should invite Charinades.

      So he can come and drink with us                                                        1350
      to god who’s giving so much help
      assisting with our crops.

      As soon as the cicada sings
      his own sweet song, I love to see
                                                                                                               [1160]
      if those Lemnian vines of mine
      are ripe already, their nature
      makes them the very first to bloom
      and to look at the swelling figs,
      which, when they’re ripe, I love to eat
      and keep on eating while I say                                                            
1360
      “I do love these seasons.” And then
      I crush some thyme and stir a drink.
      Yes, I get fat in summer time.
                                                                                                                       [1170]

CHORUS LEADER
      Much fatter than if I were looking at
      some god damned military officer
      with three helmet plumes and a crimson cloak,
      dazzling red, which he claims is real dye
      from Sardis. But if he ever has to fight
      in his red cloak, then he himself gets dyed 
      the real Cyzicene yellow. He’s the first                                                
1370
      to run away, shaking those plumes of his
      just like a brown and yellow horse-cock,
*
      while I stand just like someone watching
      a hunting net. And then when they get home,
      they act in an intolerable way.
      On the conscription list they scribble down
                                                                                   [1180]
      some of our names and scratch out others,
      back and forth two or three times at random.  
      Tomorrow is set as the departure date,
      and this man’s purchased no provisions.
                                                                           1380
      He had no idea he was moving out.
      Then he stops in front of Pandion’s statue,
      sees his name, and rushes off in distress,
      with a bitter glare at his misfortune.
*
      They do these things to us country people,
      less so to city folk, these very ones
      who before god and men threw away
      their shields. And if the gods are willing,
      I’ll still call them to account for it.

CHORUS
      They’ve injured me with many slights.
                                                                                 1390
      Those men act at home are lions,
      but foxes when it comes to fights.
                                                                                                             [1190]

[Trygaeus and the First Servant emerge from the house]

TRYGAEUS [handing the First Servant a plumed helmet]
      Oh, oh! What a crowd we’ve got coming here
      for the wedding dinner. Come on, dust off
      the tables with this thing. There’s nothing else
      it’s good for any more. And then pile up
      the cakes, the thrushes, plenty of the hare,
      and the bread rolls.

[The First Servant goes into the house. Enter the Sickle Maker and a Potter.
One is carrying sickles, another a basket of food.]

SICKLE MAKER
                                   Where’s Trygaeus? Where is he?

TRYGAEUS
      I’m cooking thrushes.

SICKLE MAKER
                                                     O dearest Trygaeus,
      you’ve done us so much good by making Peace!
                                                       1400
      Before now no one would’ve paid an obol
                                                                                       [1200]
      for a sickle and now I’m selling them
      for fifty drachmas. And this fellow here
      flogs jars for three drachmas in the country.
      So Trygaeus take some of these sickles
      and these jars—take as many as you’d like,
      free of charge. And please accept these presents.
      We’re bringing you these gifts for your wedding
      from what we’ve sold, the profits we have made.

TRYGAEUS
      All right. Put them over here beside me,
                                                                           1410
      and go inside as quickly as you can to eat

      there’s an arms dealer coming and he looks
      as if he’s really angry.

[Enter an Arms Dealer, carrying a load of his goods, with an Armourer, a Trumpet
Dealer, a
 Spear Maker, and a Helmet Maker, each carrying a lot of samples of his trade]

ARMS DEALER
                                  Damn it, Trygaeus,
                                                                                                    [1210]
      you’ve completely ruined me!

TRYGAEUS
                                                You poor man,
      what’s the matter? Are you crestfallen? 

ARMS DEALER
      You’ve wiped out my trade, my livelihood,
      and this man’s and this spear maker’s, too. 

TRYGAEUS
      Well then, what should I pay for these two crests?

ARMS DEALER
      What are you offering?

TRYGAEUS
                                            What’s my offer?
      I’m ashamed to say. Still, a lot of work                                                
1420
      has gone into this attachment bracket,
      so I might offer for the two of them
      three measures of dried figs. I can use them
      for dusting off the table.

ARMS DEALER
                                            All right, done.
      Now go and bring the figs.

[Trygaeus takes the helmet crests and goes into the house.  
The Arms Dealers talks to his companion]

                                                 Well, it’s better                                                                                      [1220]
      than getting nothing.             

[Trygaeus re-emerges with the helmet crests, which he throws at the Arms Dealer]

                                                    Get these out of here!
      Take them from my house! To hell with them!
      These aren’t helmet crests. They’re shedding hair!
      I wouldn’t pay a single fig for them.

ARMOURER
      What’s a poor fellow like me going to do                                            
1430
      with this splendidly made curved breastplate?
      It’s worth ten minas.

TRYGAEUS [taking the breastplate]
                                        With this one here
      you won’t lose money. Let me purchase it
      for cost price. It’ll be really useful
      when I need to shit . . . 

[Trygaeus puts the armour on the ground and starts pulling up his clothes,
as if he is going to crap in the metal]

ARMOURER
                                                 Stop insulting me
      and my merchandise.                                             

TRYGAEUS
                                                     Like this, but it needs 
                                                            [1230]
      three stones placed beside it.
*

[He sits on the armour]

                                             Hey, it works.

ARMOURER
        How will you wipe yourself, you idiot?

TRYGAEUS [picking up stones and reaching through the arm holes on the metal]
       One hand goes through this hole, the other one . . .

ARMOURER
      You wipe yourself with both hands at once?
                                                                  1440

TRYGAEUS
      Yes, by god, so I don’t get arrested
      for concealing an oar hole on the ship.
*

ARMOURER
      So you’re going to sit down to take a shit
      on something worth ten minas?

TRYGAEUS
      Yes I am, you fool. Do you imagine
      I’d sell my asshole for a thousand drachmas?
*

ARMOURER
      All right, then, hand
over the money.

TRYGAEUS [standing up and rubbing his bum]
      No, my good man, it irritates my ass.
      Take it away. I won’t be buying it.

TRUMPET MAKER
      What am I going to do with this trumpet.
                                                                         1450          [1240]
      I once paid sixty drachmas for it.

TRYGAEUS
      Pour lead in this hollow part, then up here
      fix
a long stick on top. And then you’ll have
      a target for your game of cottabus.

TRUMPET MAKER
      Damn you, you’re making fun of me.

TRYGAEUS
                                                            All right,
      I’ll give you another idea. Pour lead,
      as I said, and attach a pan right here,
      using small cords, and you’ll then have something
      to weigh figs for your servants in the fields.

HELMET MAKER
      O you damned spirit who’s destroyed me,
                                                                       1460          [1250]
      I once paid a mina for these helmets!
      Now what do I do? Who’ll buy them now?

TRYGAEUS
      Go sell them to the Egyptians. They’ll do
      for when they measure out their laxatives.

SPEAR MAKER
     Alas, helmet maker, things have worked out
     so badly for us.

TRYGAEUS
                              This man’s not suffering,
      not in the least. 

SPEAR MAKER
                               What about his helmets?
      Who will use them anymore?

TRYGAEUS
      He should learn to attach handles to them.
      then he’d sell them at a much better price                                          
1470
      than he does now. 

HELMET MAKER
                                   Let’s go, Spear Maker.

TRYGAEUS
      No, not yet.
 I’m going to buy spears from him.                                                                           [1260]

SPEAR MAKER
      How much will you offer for them, then?

TRYGAEUS
      If they were split in two, I’d purchase them
      as vineyard poles, a drachma per hundred.

SPEAR MAKER
     We’re being insulted. Come on, friend, let’s go.

[The various arms dealers and weapons manufacturers all leave. As Trygaeus gives
his next speech, two young boys emerge from the house]

TRYGAEUS
      Yes, you should, because children of our guests
      are coming here to take a piss. I think  
      they’re also going to sing the opening parts
      of what they will perform. Now, young lad,           
                                               1480
      what song do you intend to sing? Stand here
      beside me and before you go inside
      sing the beginning of your song.

SON OF LAMACHUS [chanting]
      “So now let us begin with younger warriors . . .”                                          
[1270]

TRYGAEUS
      Stop singing of warriors, you wretched child.

      We’re at peace. And you’re a cursed idiot.

SON OF LAMACHUS [continuing]
      “When they’d come close up against each other,
      they smashed their ox-hide bucklers and their embossed shields.”

TRYGAEUS
      Shields?
 Will you stop reminding us of shields!

SON OF LAMACHUS [continuing]
      “
Then came men groans with shouts of triumph too.”                                            1490

TRYGAEUS [interrupting]
      Men’s groans?
 By Dionysus, you’ll be crying
      as you sing out those groans and embossed shields.

SON OF LAMACHUS
      Then what should I sing? Tell me what you like.

TRYGAEUS [quoting from Homer]
     “Thus they feasted on cattle meat.” Stuff like that.
                                                                    [1280]
     “They set out breakfast, all the sweetest food to eat.”

SON OF LAMACHUS [reciting again]
      “Thus they feasted on cattle meat and, tired of war,
      loosed their sweating horses from the harnesses.”

TRYGAEUS
      That’s the stuff. They were fed up with warfare
      and then they had a feast. Sing about that

      about how they ate after they were tired.
                                                                          1500

SON OF LAMACHUS
      “When they were finished, they strengthened themselves . . .”

TRYGAEUS
      I’m sure they were feeling really splendid.

SON OF LAMACHUS [continuing]
      “. . . and poured from the towers. A mighty shout arose . . . “

TRYGAEUS [interrupting]
      To hell with you, boy, you and your battles!
      You sing of nothing but war. Whose son are you?
                                                                   [1290]

SON OF LAMACHUS
      Me?
                         

TRYGAEUS
                Yes, by god, you.

SON OF LAMACHUS
                                        I’m Lamachus’ son.

TRYGAEUS 
      Bah! Listening to you sing, I was wondering
      if you might be the offspring of someone
      addicted to war, who’s sad without one.
      Go away!  Sing your songs to the spearmen.
                                                                  1510
      Where’s that young son of Cleonymus?

[The Son of Lamachus goes in the house and the other child,
the son of Cleonymus steps forward]

      Sing me something before you go inside.
      I don’t think you’ll sing about stuff like that.
      Your father’s a far too prudent man.

SON OF CLEONYMUS [singing]
     “Some man from Sais now glories in my shield,
      that splendid shield, which I left, against my will,
      beside a bush . . . “

TRYGAEUS [interrupting]
                                 Tell me, you little prick,
      are you singing about your own father?
                                                                                             [1300]

SON OF CLEONYMUS [continuing]
     
 “But I saved my life . . . “

TRYGAEUS [interrupting]
                                             And shamed your parents.
      But let’s go in. I’m sure you won’t forget                                             
1520
      what you’ve just been singing about the shield,
      not with that father of yours.

[Trygaeus and the Son of Cleonymus start to go into the house.
Trygaeus turns to address the Chorus]

      You people who are staying here, your work
      is to chomp on all this stuff, chew it up

      don’t just pretend you’re working. Get to it
      like real men, with both jaws grinding hard.
      You poor sods, your white teeth are no use at all
      if they’re not used for chewing.
                                                                                                                   [1310]

[Trygaeus goes into the house]

CHORUS LEADER
      We’ll take care of it. Thanks for telling us.
      Now those of you who were hungry earlier                                         
1530
      get going on this hare. It’s not every day
      you come across cakes going around unclaimed.
      So eat up, or I say you’ll soon be sorry.

[Trygaeus emerges from the house]

TRYGAEUS
      You must speak fair words now, and let the bride
      come out here. And bring the wedding torches.
      Let all the people rejoice together
      and sing and dance with us. Now, too, we must
      take all equipment back to our land once more      
      once we have danced and poured out libations,
      kicked out Hyperbolus, and made our prayers                                    
1540          [1320]
      to gods to enrich the Greeks, and make us all
      harvest many barley crops together,
      with lots of wine, figs to eat, and may our wives
      bear children for us, and may we gather
      once again the good things we started with
      all the things we’ve lost and set aside
      the glittering iron of war.

[Opora comes out of the house with her attendants]

      Come, wife, to the fields,
      and, my lovely one, may you lie
                                                                                                                [1330]
      in such beauty at my side.
                                                                                                                 1550

[In the following exchanges one half the Chorus sings in response to the other half]

 FIRST HALF CHORUS
      Hymen, Hymenaeus, O!
*

SECOND HALF CHORUS
      O thrice blessed man, you deserve
      these splendid things you now possess!

FIRST HALF CHORUS
      Hymen, Hymenaeus, O!

SECOND HALF CHORUS
      Hymen, Hymenaeus, O!

FIRST HALF CHORUS
      What shall we do with her?

SECOND HALF CHORUS
      What shall we do with her?

FIRST HALF CHORUS
      We’ll harvest her fruit.

SECOND HALF CHORUS
      We’ll harvest her fruit.

FIRST HALF CHORUS
      Those in the front,
                                                                                                                                    1560
      lift up the groom. Come, men,
                                                                                                                    [1340]
      let’s carry him off.

SECOND HALF CHORUS
      Hymen, Hymenaeus, O!

FIRST HALF CHORUS
      Hymen, Hymenaeus, O!

[The Chorus raises Trygaeus up in the air]

CHORUS LEADER
      You’ll have a fine home
      without any troubles,
     
 tending your figs.

FIRST HALF CHORUS
      Hymen, Hymenaeus, O!

SECOND HALF CHORUS
      Hymen, Hymenaeus, O!

FIRST HALF CHORUS
      His fig is huge and thick.
                                                                                                                    1570

SECOND HALF CHORUS
      And her fig is sweet.
                                                                                                                                                [1350]

TRYGAEUS
      You’ll say that when you’re feasting,
      when you’re drinking plenty of wine.

CHORUS
      Hymen, Hymenaeus, O!
      Hymen, Hymenaeus, O!

TRYGAEUS
      Good bye, men, good luck,
      and if you follow me
      you’ll be eating flat cakes!


   

Notes

* . . . eat the stuff:  Stealing food in the kitchen was a common complaint against slaves.  [Back to Text]

* . . . or the Graces: Aphrodite is the goddess of sexual love, and the Graces are the goddesses of grace and charm. [Back to Text]

* . . . shit all day: Cleon was a very influential politician in Athens who had died shortly before the production of the play. He is one of Aristophanes’ favourite targets, even after his death.  [Back to Text]

* . . . windbags: This would be a pointed reference to the important political officials sitting in a special section of the audience. [Back to Text]

* . . . Medes: The term Medes refers to the Persians who in Asia Minor were still keen on interfering in Greek political matters.  [Back to Text] 

* . . . to the ravens: In Greek is this a common expression for “Going to Hell,” or “Going to the dogs.”  [Back to Text]

* . . . for a sauce: This obscure joke, Sommerstein explains, depends on the very similar words for knuckle or punch and for a tasty delicacy. [Back to Text]

* . . . in Naxos: The Greek word for beetle (kantharos) was also used to refer to a certain kind of boat (evidently associated with the island of Naxos).  [Back to Text]

* . . . Beetle Harbour:  Piraeus, the great sea port near Athens, was, Sommerstein notes, officially called the Harbour of Cantharus (the Greek word for beetle), after a local hero.  [Back to Text]

* . . . into some tragic glory: Aristophanes is fond of mocking the tragic dramatist Euripides for the way he liked to portray physically injured heroes. [Back to Text]

* . . . ass hole: The reference to Chios here is obscure. If an Athenian were killed in a state subject to Athens, there was a large fine of five talents. But Chios is a long way from Athens, so it’s not clear how that law would apply.  [Back to Text]

* . . . Athmonum: This is the name of a political district to the north of Athens.  [Back to Text]

* . . . will pay: The twin gods are Castor and Pollux (or Polydeuces), twin brothers of Helen and Clytaemnestra, and important Peloponnesian gods.  Attica is the region of Greece around Athens. The Peloponnesian War pitted Sparta and its allies, mainly in the Peloponnese, against Athens and its allies.  [Back to Text]

* . . . on to Pylos: Pylos, in the south of the Peloponnese, was the site of a major set back for the Spartans (a few years before the production of Peace), when the Athenians took 300 Spartans prisoners and set up an occupying force. The prisoners were an important bargaining chip for the Athenians, since many came from the finest families in Sparta.  [Back to Text]

* . . . a man’s legs: A  reference to the way War make men’s knees tremble or, Sommerstein suggests, perhaps to an involuntary bowel movement brought on by fear. [Back to Text]

* Prasiae: a small coastal town in the Peloponnese.  [Back to Text] 

*Megara: an important city state to the west of Athens, close to the Isthmus of Corinth.  [Back to Text]

* . . . to a powder: The tanner referred to is Cleon, an important Athenian politician and a favourite target of Aristophanes. He is famous for stirring the people up in favour of war. Cleon died in 422 BC, shortly before the production of Peace [Back to Text]

* . . . initiate of Samothrace: The phrase refers to a member of a religious cult located in Samothrace, an island in the Aegean Sea. This cult, Sommerstein explains, was famous for the success of the prayers offered by those initiated into it.  [Back to Text]

* . . . Datis: This is probably a reference to the commander of the Persian expedition sent against Athens and defeated at the battle of Marathon in 490 BC.  [Back to Text]

* . . . Good Spirit’s cup: This odd expression seems to mean that it’s time we all enjoyed common good fellowship. Sommerstein notes that after a meal there was a tribute of neat red wine to the Good Spirit, after which the drinking began in earnest.  [Back to Text]

* . . . Lamachus: the name of an Athenian general who, in Aristophanes’ eyes, was too eager for the fame and wealth he garnered in battle. [Back to Text]

* . . . rations for three days: The orders for military expeditions required the people to bring food for three days with them.  [Back to Text]

*Cerberus was the famous dog guarding Hades. This mention of his name seems to be a reference to Cleon, the aggressive Athenian politician in favour of war, who had recently died. [Back to Text]

* . . . “Hurray! Hurray!: cottabos was a favourite dinner game which involved throwing drops of wine into a balance beam. A Sybarite is one famous for devoting his life to pleasure.  [Back to Text]

* . . . to Phormio: Phormio was a successful Athenian general famous for his ability to endure hardships and insisting his men did the same. [Back to Text]

* . . . with sword and spear: The Lycaeum was a place in Athens where soldiers practised military drills. [Back to Text]

* . . . just like Cillicon: Cillicon betrayed his city Miletus to its enemies. When asked what he was doing, he said “Nothing bad.” [Back to Text]

* . . . with a lottery:  The Athenians seem to have drawn lots for the order in which they executed condemned criminals. Hermes was the god of chance. [Back to Text] 

* . . . I meet my death: Trygaeus is treating his death like a military campaign and complaining that he’s being called up too quickly, so that he hasn’t had time to get his three days of rations.  [Back to Text]

* . . . myself initiated: This phrase refers to the ritual of being initiated into a mystery religious cult. The ceremony required a sucking pig. Those initiated were supposed to enjoy a happier after life.  [Back to Text] 

* . . . great processions, too: Pisander was an Athenian general of reactionary political inclinations. [Back to Text]

* . . . they were used to be: Hermes was the god of thieves and a famous thief himself. [Back to Text]

* . . . those scoundrels: The phrases about stealing daylight and biting each other’s disks are references to solar and lunar eclipses.  [Back to Text]

* . . . will honour Hermes: The Panathenaea was an Athenian festival dedicated to Athena. The Mysteries were a celebration of the cult of Demeter. The Dipolia was a festival honouring Zeus, and the Adonia celebrated Aphrodite and Adonis.  [Back to Text]

* . . . his shield again: The allocation of lines in this speech and in those which follow is much disputed. I have followed Sommerstein’s suggestion (although not entirely) and left Hermes in charge of the libation prayers, with Trygaeus making the frequent interruptions, since this seems to be the most dramatically plausible arrangement.  [Back to Text]

* . . . as Cleomenes: Cleomenes was an Athenian who disgraced himself by dropping his shield and running away from battle.  [Back to Text] 

* . . . for joy: This comment arises from a pun in the Greek, since the word cry out with joy (paean) closely resembles the word to strike. [Back to Text]

* . . . Enyalius: Ares is the god of warfare. Enyalius is an alternative name for Ares and also the name of a separate god of war. [Back to Text]

* . . . your monster: Lamachus, an important Athenian general, had a shield with a Gorgon’s head depicted on it (the face of Medusa, which in traditional mythology could turn men to stone). [Back to Text]

* . . . from both sides: In the war both Athens and Sparta sought to win over the Argives as allies, but the Argives maintained a shrewd neutrality. Eventually they joined up with the Athenians. Sommerstein suggests that this line may be a reference to Argives working as paid crewmen on both Athenian and Spartan ships.  [Back to Text]

* . . . keep getting in their way: The phrase about the Spartans “in jail” is a reference to the many Spartan prisoners captured by the Athenians at Pylos. They were kept chained up in jail in Athens (the Greeks says “held to wood,” referring to the chains attached to the beams in the prison). For them Peace will be much more welcome than for the arms makers, who make weapons.  [Back to Text]

* . . . of hunger: Athenian hostilities against Megara had brought starvation to many in the city.  [Back to Text]

* . . . garlic on her: This phrase means, in effect, to get her angry. Sommerstein points out that fighting cocks were fed garlic to make them more pugnacious. [Back to Text]

* . . . the sea a little:  This is a reference to the military policy of Pericles, the major political leader in Athens at the start of the war, which urged Athenians to put all their faith in the their fleet, rather than in organizing land expeditions against the Spartans. [Back to Text]

* . . . penned by Euripides: The Dionysia was the major drama festival in Athens, a celebration in which Peace was produced. [Back to Text]

* . . . with cups attached: The cups were small metal pieces designed to relieve swelling. The bruises come from wounds they have received in fighting each other. [Back to Text]

* . . . but in Sparta, too: Phidias was the most famous sculptor in Athens. He was accused of stealing materials (including gold) from a public commission for a statue of Athena and was banished. Pericles, the leading political figure in Athens, was a close associate of Phidias and one of those charged with overseeing the work. The Megarian decree prohibited any people of Megara from coming to Athens and shut down all trade with the place. This was an extreme hardship for the Megarians. The suggestion here is that the origin of the Peloponnesian War was linked to this scandal. The Greek text does not mention Sparta by name, but uses the phrase “over there,” a clear reference to the Spartans.  [Back to Text]

* . . . held out for war: Before the war Athens had developed an alliance among a number of city states, allegedly for defensive purposes. Athens insisted forcibly that these city states pay them tribute money, claiming that they would provide the naval forces for defending them all against the Spartans and their allies. Many of the tributary states were not happy with this arrangement.  [Back to Text]

*At the start of the Peloponnesian War, the Spartans attacked Athenian territory by land. The Athenians, following the advice of Pericles, abandoned the countryside and brought the country people into the city. These refugees were in considerable distress, and some special welfare provisions were made for them. The “demagogues” are the public orators of the party urging war (notably Cleon). Brasidas was an important and (for a while) very successful Spartan general. His death shortly before the production of Peace was one of the reasons there seemed a real chance that the cities might end hostilities. The man who dealt in leather is the demagogue Cleon (who had also died shortly before the production of Peace, as Trygaeus’ next speech indicates). [Back to Text]

* . . . your people: Hermes was associated with Hades, since he accompanied the spirits of the dead to the underworld. [Back to Text]

* . . . whisper to him: It’s not clear whether or not Peace actually does whisper something to Hermes in this and later speeches or if he just pretends that she does. Since Peace never says another word in the play, the latter option seems dramatically more plausible, especially since Hermes seems to really like lecturing the audience on all the things they did wrong.  [Back to Text]

* . . . in your assembly: At Pylos (in 425 BC) the Athenians won an unexpected victory and captured 300 Spartan citizen-soldiers, a very serious blow to the Spartans, whose population was relatively small. The Spartans made peace overtures in an attempt to get the prisoners released.  [Back to Text]

* . . . the rocky Pynx: Pynx is the name of a hill where the Athenians held their assemblies. [Back to Text]

* . . . by Hyperbolus: Hyperbolus was a leading Athenian politician, a radical demagogue who inherited Cleon’s role after the latter’s death. He is a favourite target of Aristophanes’ satire. [Back to Text]

* . . . into Simonides: Simonides was a famous lyric poet, well known for his love of money. The line seems to suggest that Sophocles is trying to get money (or more money) from writing.  [Back to Text]

* . . . on a wicker mat: It is not clear what these lines mean exactly. Sophocles was about seventy-five years old (and lived for many years more), but there’s no sense elsewhere that he was a greedy or rash man. Sommerstein offers the tentative suggestions that these lines may refer to a risky business venture.  [Back to Text] 

* . . . still living: Cratinus was a well known comic poet who died shortly after the Peloponnesian War started.  [Back to Text]

* . . . pennyroyal later: pennyroyal was (and still is) a widely used herbal remedy for a number of things, including eating too much fruit. Oporia’s name literally means “full fruit.”  [Back to Text]

* . . . the lightning bolt: Hermes’ speech here, Sommerstein points out, is a quotation from a lost play by Euripides, which refers to the fabulous winged horse Pegasus. [Back to Text]

* . . . Ganymede’s ambrosia: Ganymede was a royal prince of Troy who was so beautiful he was taken up to Olympus to carry Zeus’ cup and be his sexual playmate. [Back to Text] 

* . . . camels arse holes: This is a monstrous portrait of Cleon, one of Aristophanes’ early targets. Sommerstein notes that the phrase “Bitch Star” comes from a female equivalent for “Dog Star” (a particularly bright part of the night sky), which happens also to be the name of a notorious prostitute. Lamia is a well known monster, but is normally female, in which case the “balls” on Lamia would be non-existent, another slur against Cleon. The switch to the first person suggests that either Aristophanes himself is stepping forward to speak or that someone in the chorus is impersonating him. Hence, I have assigned this first-person section to the Chorus Leader.  [Back to Text]

* . . . balding skull: Aristophanes frequently makes fun of his own baldness. [Back to Text]

* . . . with their play: Carcinus was an Athenian tragic dramatist and his sons were well known as actors and dancers. They were apparently quite small in stature. [Back to Text] 

* . . . by a weasel: It’s not clear what this reference to a weasel means. Perhaps it’s based on a popular story about Carcinus, or perhaps the description is supposed to mean that his play was like a small and nasty rodent.  [Back to Text]

* . . . stink like goats: Morsimus and Melanthius were tragic poets and frequent targets of Aristophanes (especially for their bad poetry and eating habits); the Gorgons were monsters with large teeth and a reputation for gluttony, and the Harpies were winged monsters with a woman’s face and a vulture’s body. The roach mentioned is the fish (the Greek word also refers to another fish, the skate, but the English pun on roach also helps to bring out their disgusting greed. [Back to Text]

* . . . are being rolled up: These foods are traditional wedding dishes. [Back to Text]

* . . . and screw: Brauron was a town outside of Athens were there was a large celebration in honour of Athena every four years, a festival well known for its debauchery.  [Back to Text]

* . . . Isthmian Games: These games were important and popular athletic competitions. Visitors set up tents on the site. The mention of the games allows Trygaeus in his next long speech to introduce all sorts of sexual innuendoes when he describes the games the councillors can now play [Back to Text]

* . . . close to the spectators: In Aristophanes’ production, Theoria would have been played by a male actor disguised as a female. Her “nude” body, Sommerstein points out, would be covered with something (a flesh-coloured body stocking, perhaps) painted to depict breasts and public hair. The ambiguous sexuality underlies a good deal of the ribald humour which follows. [Back to Text]

* . . . reaching for a peace: This obscure joke, Sommerstein suggests, seems to depend on a similarity in sound between the word for hand (which would make the listeners think the official was reaching for a bribe) and the word for peace. [Back to Text]

* . . . grumpy little Hermes: This refers to the frequent custom of placing small statues of Hermes outside people’s homes. The First Servant is apparently complaining that the statue of Peace deserves more than these small household items. [Back to Text]

* . . . just like Theagenes: Theagenes was a citizen of Piraeus (the port of Athens), well known for his ugly appearance and disgusting habits.  [Back to Text]

* . . . a slang expression: In the Greek the animal proposed is a sheep, and the First Servant uses a word from the Ionic dialect. Trygaeus’ response is “But that’s an Ionian dialect word.” The use of the word bummer (a slang expression for an orphan lamb) is an attempt to get something out of this exchange, especially in connection with the First Servant’s next two speeches. [Back to Text]

* . . . give him something: Chaeris is the name of a musician notorious for his inept playing. [Back to Text]

* . . . by the womenSommerstein notes that this comment does not necessarily mean that women were not permitted to attend performances (although it might refer to that). There is evidence from other texts that some women were present at these performances. [Back to Text]

* . . . our Lysimache: the name literally means “put an end to fighting.” It’s not clear whether this name refers to anyone specifically.  [Back to Text]       

*Melanthius was a tragic poet with a reputation for gluttony, and Medea was one of his plays. Beets were commonly served with eels.  [Back to Text] 

*Stilbides was an important diviner in Athens who went along on the disastrous Sicilian expedition. The slur is that he needs war in order to prosper at his trade and thus won’t be happy about a successful offering to Peace. [Back to Text]

* . . . one more time: Bacis was a well-known diviner from Boeotia who allegedly got his inspiration from the nymphs.  [Back to Text]

* . . . at the Prytaneum:  The Prytaneum was an important sacred building in Athens where very distinguished people could eat at public expense.  [Back to Text]

* . . . by the Sibyl: The Sibyl is a prophetess in a shrine. Hierocles may be referring to the prophetess of Apollo at Delphi. [Back to Text]

* . . . to Elymnium: Oreus is Hierocles’ home town, and Elymnium is an island off the coast of Euboea, close to Oreus. [Back to Text]

* . . . horse cock: This is an imaginary creature, a combination of a horse and cock with wings. [Back to Text]

* . . . at his misfortune: Pandion’s statue is a place in Athens where important public notices were posted, in this case the name of citizens going on the next military expedition.  [Back to Text]

* . . . placed beside it: Sommerstein observes that the Greeks used stones to wipe themselves. [Back to Text]

* . . . on the ship:  People paying for the warships sometimes stopped up the oar holes to save themselves the expense of a full crew of rowers.  Inspectors required crew members to put both hands through the oar holes so that they could count the actual number of rowers. [Back to Text]

* . . . a thousand drachma: Historians estimate (roughly) that 1 drachma in Aristophanes’ time was worth about 25 dollars today. A mina is equivalent to 10 drachmas.[Back to Text]

* Hymen, Hymenaeus: The traditional wedding song, a tribute to the god of weddings, Hymen or Hymenaeus. [Back to Text]

 

 


 

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